Judge, 1913-10-04 · page 11 of 24
Judge — October 4, 1913 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story by J.A. Waldron satirizes the perceived disconnect between wives and financial reality. Horace, facing stock market losses of "thousands," asks his wife Bella to curtail shopping. She agrees sweetly—then immediately asks her maid about purchasing new hats. The satire targets: (1) wives' indifference to or ignorance of household finances, (2) women's compulsive spending on fashion, particularly hats—a recurring target of period humor, and (3) the gap between women's promises and actions. The title's irony is key: Bella's vanity (acquiring fashionable hats) becomes its own "reward"—she gets what she wants despite financial hardship. The illustration shows her with a display of hats, emphasizing the absurdity of her "collection" despite claiming she needs more. The story mocks both feminine materialism and husbands' powerlessness to control it.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
) Sy Vanity Not Alone sind nay Reward Its Own By J. A, WALDRON ELLA BELLFAIR, at nine a. m., had come from her bath, an early hour for her, and her maid was doing her hair, when Horace, her husband, looked into her boudoir—an unusual thing for him to do. “Up already, eh?” he asked. ‘‘May I have a moment?” Bella and her maid exchanged glances, the result of which was the maid’s disappearance. Psychologists have yet to analyze feminine freemasonry. Bellfair, who had breakfasted alone, as usual, came forward as Bella rose in an attractive negligee to greet him. She kissed him, and this also was so unusual that it embarrassed him for a moment, though it was plain that to him the saluta- tion was worth considerably more than par. “‘T shouldn’t have bothered you, dear,”’ he said, ‘“‘but I’m a bit worried. A wife should know her husband's business, shouldn't she?”’ “Should she? I suppose so."’ Bella laughed. “I've been on the wrong side of the market for a month, dear.’’ “I'm sure I don’t know the wrong side from the right,’’ she replied carelessly, laughing again. “But Ido. I'm two hundred and seventy-five in the hole.’’ “If you persist in talking business with me, dear, why don’t you leave out technicalities? You mean you've lost two hundred and seventy-five dollars?” “Thousands. "* “Oh! That’s a lot more, I suppose. But what of it?’’ “Well, dear, I thought I’d just ask you to go a little slow for a bit on shopping, don’t you know?"" And “All right, honey. she kissed him again. Horace didn’t remember just when it was before this morn- ing that Bella had kissed him, and this second spontaneous favor was priceless. But he was in haste. The ticker was calling. And the maid reappeared. Then you'll remember?’’ He was at the door. “‘Of course I'll remember!’’ And she threw him another, which, like some investments he had known, classed below par when he thought of the pressure of lips a moment before. The door closed. “‘He’s lost a lot of money, Adele,’’ explained Bella. “Ah!’’ replied Adele. “But he’ll make a lot more. He always does.’’ “Will madam shop to-day ?"’ “Yes. I need a hat or two. You know, I gave away a dozen last week—four of the handsomer ones to you.’’ “Yes, madam. Thanks.’’ “And I’ve only that snow-white chapeau of ermine and vel- vet, the paradise on that odd shape, the oval wine velvet and rose ostrich plumes, the white velvet chapeau with the tall ostrich plumage, the fountain hat, that green moleskin and the petit chapeau of green velvet—that is, only these among the modish ones. Of course there are still a lot of old hats, but they’re not smart.’’ “‘No, madam.’’ Adele loved hats, too. Next to the major mystery which woman as woman em- bodies are her minor mysteries. One of these is the facility with which she can spo’ an unfashionable hat in a multitude of I've only to look at some hats.’’ comicbooks.com