Judge, 1913-09-27 · page 19 of 24
Judge — September 27, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two unrelated pieces: a short satirical story and period advertising. **"Forgiving Algernon"** is a comedy about class and marriage. A wealthy father confronts his son for marrying a chorus girl (a performer of low social status). The father's servant/friend Bearstocks mocks the bride, Gracia, who cunningly charms the father into offering a generous settlement—but with a cruel twist: he'll pay handsomely for grandchildren *only* if she stops working and avoids nursemaids, essentially trapping her in domesticity. The joke is on the groom's bride: her gold-digging scheme backfires into a life sentence of motherhood. **The advertisement** promotes Pabst Blue Ribbon beer as "The Beer of Quality," a standard early-20th-century marketing claim. The page reflects period anxieties about social mobility, working women, and marriage mercenary motives—all filtered through humor that modern readers would find dated and somewhat misogynistic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Forgiving Algernon By TE LOVE HOLLIDAY WEAK -KNEED and shaky, young Bearstocks and his chorus-girl pride stood before pater, awaiting the rental decree. Didn't I tell you positively not to do demanded the old gentleman fero- * admitted Algernon, turning a shade paler; “‘but—aw—dad, isn’t she enough to make a chap lose his head?” “Such a head as yours, perhaps!’* snapped dad. ‘*Have you any idea what it costs to maintain such an estabiiah- ment as would be expected of my son? “Er—really, guv-nor, I’ve no head for figures,"’ muttered Algy helplessly. “[ thought it was a head for ‘figures’ that got you into this,’’ jibed Bearstocks, glancing at the alluring lines of the former Miss Fairytoes. “An eye for a figure, sir,’’ corrected the bride demurely. “Thave an eye for a figure, too,’’ as- serted pater grim but I never let it tarn my head. When the tail begins to wag the dog, it’s time to shoot the dog —he’s mad. Now that you've got this young cub, what do you intend to do with him?” Gracia shrugged her shapely shoulders, “It seems hopeless to attempt to do any- thing with him, doesn’t it? However, I am trying to persuade him to go to work.”” Bearstocks laughed sardonically, ‘*The first job you selected for him was ‘work- ing’ me, eh?”” ‘Oh, dear, no!’ Gracia opened her baby-blue eyes very wide. ‘I'd pick something easy for him to practice on. They say in the Street that you have never been ‘done. “Well, children,’’ said father genially, “I'm going to be generous for once. I'll make you a handsome settlement. You can name the sum yourselves’? ‘Oh, I say, guv’nor, that’s awfully de- cent of you!"’ cried Algy, much relieved “Thanks! I'll return that, if you want it, when you hear the terms,’’ said Bear- stocks dryly, when Gracia kissed him. “Upon the birth of my first grandchild, I will give you two hundred thousand dollars, and two hundred and fifty thou- sand for each additional one; bottle feeding and nursegirls barred."’ With a bitter moan, Gracia staggered into Algy’s arms. ‘‘You cruel, vindictive monster!’’ subbed she. ‘‘You must be mad!"" “I am—stork mad,’’ chuckled the brutal old barbarian. ‘*Do you accept my terms?’" “No,"' she wailed. ‘‘T-take me, Algy, b-back to the c-chorus and eighteen a week.’" Doing Him Tustice—Edna—Mr. Wylkins is an awful fibber, isn’t he? Grace—Why, not always! He was saying some charming things to me | night.—Somerville Journal. BlueRibbon The Beer of Quality 1. AMAZING ENE in reach of all. nd Massures. Kemoves inde out any part of tho face OF vellef can bo 4! 2 all Kinds of patne Neursigin. A demonstration convinces the moet ekoptte Read On! What Others Do, So Can You. rwarth, says, I am making $19.00 per dey. Behermerhora, ph dosen machines op ‘fest te jo by Ciret Express,” Mea, women, eve In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com