Judge, 1913-08-30 · page 19 of 24
Judge — August 30, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This poem by Terrell Love Holliday satirizes Labor Day's purpose through ironic contrast. A foundry worker toils year-round but spends his single day of rest being relentlessly pestered by family members demanding chores: mopping floors, fetching tools, mending doors, sewing buttons, washing windows, and cooking. The joke's bitter point: despite nominally celebrating labor, this father gets no actual rest on Labor Day—he's simply reassigned from factory work to domestic drudgery. The poem mocks both the hollowness of the holiday and the endless demands placed on working-class fathers. The surrounding page content includes unrelated humor pieces ("Why?" riddles about cigars, a "Great Magazine" joke, and miscellaneous anecdotes) and advertisements for the "Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massage Machine"—typical Judge magazine filler from the early 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Toiler’s Day L LOVE HOLLIDAY get a bucket And mop the kitchen floor."” “Oh, father, fetch the hatchet ‘And mend this broken door.’* “Now, father, move the bureau ‘And help me lift this rug; Then run down to the cel And get the syrup jug. “Please, favver, sew zis button On my shirt waist,’’ begs Jack. “Oh, father, won’t you hook me, Says sister, ‘‘up the back?’ “The range is full of ashes. Come, father, take them up “Won't you make me a collar, Cries Jack, ‘‘for my new pu; “Now, father, wash the windows ‘And wipe the parlor walls Then help me get the supper. You make the codfish balls.’” Dad labors in a foundry; All year he toils away. These lines tell how he dawdles At ease on Labor Day. Why ? If cigars are not made of cabbage, why do the signs read: ‘Cigars and tobacco"’? If you buy a whole cigar at atime, why do you say they cost so much apiece? If a girl doesn’t want a smoke, why should she want a smoker? If a dealer can live on cigars and to- bacco, why can’t he live on smoke? If a man and his wife will quarrel over smoking, why can't it be called a tobacco jar? Great Magazine Bingle—What do you think of the Monthly Megatherium? Jingle—Great magazine! Fine fiction! I've just read the opening seventy pages about what it will contain during the next few months, and shall get right at the following seventy pages about what it already has this month, In Suspense Asmall boy gazed long and earnestly ata fat man who stood on a corner absent-mindedly chewing the end of a piece of string. Finally the man noticed the boy and inquired, “Well, my little man, what interests you?" “Please, sir,’’ the boy returned, ‘‘when are you going to pull that tooth?” Amenities “Idon’t ca etorts the peeved wife. “Lonly married you because your hair waved the same way as Harold Gallup's!” ‘That s0?"? jeered the jolted husband. “Well, I only married you because you used the same flavor of lip rouge as Millie Willums!"* AMAZING INVENTION prom mware oS AGENTS Rew INVENTION Sy THE 20th CENTURY WONDER, Get started In an honest, clean, reliable, permanent, money-making bes! Vgess. Seldon money-back guarantes. THE BLACKSTONE WATER POWER VACUUM BIASSAGE MACHINE No Cost to Operate. Lasts Life-Time. New Field, New Business. Price within reach of all. toeell, Hodorsed by Doctors and Massures. Hemoves V rin ° Tmands owt nce mt relief can bo given all kim Read On! What Others Do, So Can You. aking $19.00 per day, Behermerhorn, ef; Marewarth. says, I am making $19.00 per day ermerhorn, eight dozen machines D five demonstratio: wires “ship alx wig dozen by firet Expres sell four firat 3 hour. Sromen, everzbody make In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com