Judge — August 16, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“My daughter is yours,'’ fondly de- clared Mr. Jones, while Lucile stood by and blushed. ‘*You may kiss her hand as a betrothal.’” Gerald took Lu- cile’s hand to raise it tohis lips, but stopped aghast. His eyes were fixed upon it with an intensity that would have made an actress blush. He dropped her hand and turned away. “I refuse to betroth your daughter,"’ he told the astonished Mr. Jones. ‘‘I will not kiss her hand. She has a wart on her little finger.”” He stalked away indig- nantly, Mr. Jones kicked the dog in his anger and got the rabies. Lucile eloped with the chauffeur and lived happy ever after. The Garden HE radish seed you plant and guard, Throughout the rain and heat, In course of time may jolt you hard— It may produce a beet. You may plan for a pumpkin vine, Admire its tender greens; Yet find, when June comes down the line, It has a crop of beans. A tree sticks better to its job; My trees this lesson teach. For, when a peach tree sprouts a knob, You know that it’s a peach. L. OComneltt. CUBIST ART—DESCENDING THE STAIRS THE ARTIFICIAL ‘They ‘re fixin’ a lot more grass fer us to keep off of." “* Ain't that too bad, Billy? The Parables The Parable of the Risen Star BEHOLD, while yet Theodorus reigned over the people, there dwelt in the land of Man-Hattan a woman of the stage who yearned with exceeding great yearn- ing to be a Star. Her graces were even as the young roe, and her wisdom was even as that of the wise men of the East. And she strove diligently and bowed down her soul unto Art, And it came to pass that after many years she became a Great Actress, But the prophets hailed her not, and the scribes passed her by on the other side. And she was exceedingly sorrowful and made bitter lamentation unto death, And, behold there came unto her a Live One who had seen in sooth that she was beautiful and great. And he said unto her, Weep not, but get thee a Press Agent. And she ceased her lamentations and took a foxy scribe to hire. And the scribe spake unto her, saying, Do thou even as I bid thee, and thou shalt Turn Them Away before another seedtime re- turneth, Whereupon she ran away with the husband of her soubrette, and drove her chariot like lightning through the market-place, and rode upon the city wall in silk pajamas. And the scribes filled many scrolls with her name, LIFE of Pifflicus Whereupon the manager got her anew play, with the Dance of Adam and Eve in the second act. And the Temple of Thespius wherein she showed herself could not hold the multitudes that came. And she rejoiced exceedingly, saying, Art for Art’s sake is a delusion anda snide, and many ideals are a weariness of the flesh. —W. Kee Maxwell. Times Change RUN about the lawn or floor Served well its purposes of yore, When we, dear friend, were younger far, And nothing could our pleasure mar, And we were—well, say, tat four. Later, when years—perhaps a score— Came on us, we would both deplore Our early taste, and crave a spar, A run, a bout. But now we wish for nothing more Than just a million dollars for The bare necessities that are Essential when one owns a car, A racer, speeder, chaser or A runabout !—Chartes Hanson Towne. A Waste of Time “Is Shimmerpate going to the beach this summer?" “TI don't think so, getting nearsighted.”’ Accidental First broker—What's the latest merger? Second broker—Blank and his motor car. He tells me he is comicbooks.com