Judge — August 9, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories ‘with Smifes One for Exchange—Sam had been appre- pended by the sheriff for chicken steal- ing. Being without fands, he bided his geeustomed time in the calaboose until the day of the trial. Still without funds, he was also sans counsel, Witnesses, also, he had none; of character witnesses there was total lack, for any one who testified to Sam’s probity forthwith Te- moved himself from the category of wit- nesses—that is, from the category of those who knew anything about the facts. Of this Sam was well aware. “Sam Jackson, you are in custody ‘of the law,"’ announced the judge. ‘‘The State provides counsel for those who lack it, I hereby appoint these two gentle- men present in court to defend you. Have you anything to say?"* Sam's face brightened at the judge's i mae al EE Ee 8 ’ honah!’’ he ex- daimed delightedly; and then, with an engaging grin, ‘* suh, yo’ honah; bat, ef it ain't crowdin’ the law, cain’t I swap off one of dem lawyers for a wit- ness?”—New York Evening Post. ‘wo lawyers, y One or the Other—One kid story leads on toanother. A Cleveland school teacher —one who has at several periods in the gweet-scented past favored us with anec- dotes about her pupils—sends us an a count of a quiz conducted in her geog- raphy class. “In what zone do we live?” asked this teacher. “The temp’rut zone!’’ chanted drilled class, “Right. And what do we mean by ‘temperate’? Willie, you may answer.” “Temp’rut is where it’s freezin’ cold half the time an’ roastin’ hot the other half the time.” If Willie wasn't sent to the head for that, it wasn’t because he didn’t deserve the honor.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. the Bill's Board Bill—Another one has started and promises to become a worthy successor to ‘‘How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?’? Many heretical versions of the new teaser are at large, but the true form is as follows and must be strictly adhered to by the faithful: Bill had a billboard and Bill had a board bill, and Bill's board bill bored Bill till Bill sold Bill's billboard to pay Bill’s board bill, and then Bill's board bill no longer bored Bill. —New York Tribune, Family Party—‘‘I understand her hus- band is a baseball umpire."” “Yes. And it’s great for her people.” Suppose they get passes to all the it isn’t that. But every time they haven't anything else to do, one of her relatives says, ‘Let’s go out to the ball park this afternoon and roast Kitty's husband.’ "'—Detroit Free Press. is caused by the action of. Light “Beer acted upon by light soon takes up the very disagreeable so- called ‘light taste,’ and also a repulsive skunk-like odor. Beer so af- tected is offensive to the palate of most consumers, and there is prob- ably nothing that will influence them more against any brand of bottled beer than to have once tasted beer possessing this ‘light taste’ to a marked degree. The presence of this defect, however, is not always the bottler’s fault, as the consumer himself very often lets the beer stand in the light. But the consequences must usually be borne by the bottle: Fxtract from the “The Berr Bo:tlers’ Handy Book,” publ shed by the Wahl-Henius Insti- tute of Fermentolegy. Schlitz is sold in Brown Bottles to protect its purity from the brewery to your glass, In our brewery we spend more for purity—in time, in skill and in money —than any other cost. Why don't you, too, demand the pure beer—Schlitz in Brown Bottles? See that crown or cork is branded ‘‘Schlitz.”” 37-M | he Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous, HOTEL VAN RENSSELAER 15 to 19 EAST ELEVENTH STREET NEW YORK CITY which may appear about y any subject on which you may want to be “up Every newspaper ami periodical of importance | in the “United States and Europe is searched. Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. Henny Roweike, 106-110 Seventh Avenue, New York. One Block from Broadway One-half Block from Fifth Avenue Room with private bath $1.50 American Plan a Specialty $3 per day with private bath JAMES E. KNOTT, Manager SOMETHING BNTIRELY NEW. Write for outfit today. | CANFIELD MPG. CO., 208 Sigel St., Chicago, TI. BIG MONE WRITING. SONGS sands of dete We have lane te In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com