Judge, 1913-08-09 · page 19 of 24
Judge — August 9, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a racist dialect humor piece typical of early 20th-century American magazines. A group of Black men debate whether one person could eat a 25-pound watermelon. When a newcomer boasts he could, a white man wagers he cannot — offering to pay if he succeeds, but the Black man must pay if he fails. The Black man accepts but first goes home to test himself on a smaller watermelon. He succeeds at both, winning the bet. When asked why he went home first, he explains he wanted to be certain before risking money he couldn't afford to lose. The "joke" relies on racist stereotypes: the exaggerated dialect, the watermelon reference (a degrading caricature of Black people), and framing the Black character as cautiously clever rather than confident. The story's title, "Playing Safe," suggests the humor lies in his practical caution — though it also inadvertently portrays him as more sensible than the white man's reckless wager. The page also includes period advertisements for the 20th Century Limited train and Hotel Earlington.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
it and » silli- Playing Safe By WILLIAM H. HAMBY® GROUP of negroes were standing in A front of a little grocery store in a country town, admiring the display of «watermilyuns’’ lying out on the plat- form. For a while they discussed the fine points of the different ‘“milyuns,’ and finaliy the argument settied into whether or not one man could eat the biggest melon in the pile, which weighed about twenty-five pounds, While this discussion was going on, a long, lank darky joined them, “What yo'-all disputin’ about?”’ he in- quired. , “We's jest argifyin’,’’ replied one, “whether or not one man could eat that there milyun all by hisself.’’ “Shucks!'’ boasted the newcomer, ‘‘I could eat that milyun, and it wouldn’t be asnack!"” A white man, who had overheard the remarks, turned to the long, lank darky. “Why, you fool nigger,’’ he said, ‘‘you know you couldn’t eat all that melon at onetime! I'll bet you you can’t.”” “What yo’ bet?’’ asked the darky. “T'll tell you what I'll do,’’ proposed the white man. ‘“‘If you'll eat it all, I'll pay for it; but if you don’t, you pay for it” The negro was a little cautious. ‘‘What does that milyun cost?’’ he asked the storekeeper, who had sauntered out on the platform. It was priced at twenty- fivecents. The darky scratched his head in doubt for a minute, “T'll tell you what I'll do, boss,’’ he said to the white man. ‘“‘If yo'-all lemme go down to my house a little bit, I'll tell yo’ whether I kin eat that mil- yun. I won't be gone more’n five or ten minutes. "* The white man consented, and in about ten minutes the negro returned and ane nounced his readiness to take the wager. He ate the melon, scraped the rind and drank the juice. “Well, you sure win,’’ said the white man, in admiration for his capacity. “But now I would like to know why you went down to your house.”* “I done it all right, ain’t 1?’ said the negro a little uneasily. “You certainly have,’? assured the white man. ‘*You have won. But I just wanted to know from curiosity why you went to the house.’” “Well, I'll tell yo’, boss. Us niggers ain't got no money to lose, and I wanted to be sure. I had a milyun about this HE new Grand Central Terminal, New York City, the greatest Railway Terminal in the world, combines beauty and utility in a degree hitherto unknown, just as the 20th Century Limited provides travel comforts and facilities unsurpassed on this or any other continent. Travel on the “CENTURY” and arrive at and depart from this wonderful Terminal. Ly. New York 2.45 p.m. Lv. Chicago 12.40p.m Lv. Boston 12.30p.m. Ar. Boston 11.5S a.m. Ar. Chicago 9.4Sa.m. Ar. New York 9.40a.m. Section of Concourse jew Grand Central Terminal, New York, Showing Ticket indows “For the Public Service” HOTEL EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway, NEW YORK @ A Step from Broadway. @ Quiet as a Village at Night. size down to my house, and I knowed if I could eat it, I could eat ‘this one. So I went home and tried it."’ G Absolutely Fireproof. q Your Comfort Our Aim Always. SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, one person, $2.50; two peo- ple, $3.50. Why pay more when our service is equalled only by the best ? EUROPEAN PLAN E. W. WARFIELD, Manager Conjugated Inquisitive friend—Don't you find that your wife is very subject to moods? Enpeck—No; she has only one mood, the imperative, and I'm the one that's sabject to that! In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com