Judge — August 2, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOS atom Greyhound—This is the first time I ever saw anything keep abead of me in a sprint Everybody HO, despite the voice of Sense Warning him, s wanders hence, Seeking out experience? Everybody. Who insists to tread the measure, Yea, and drink the froth of p! Though he must repent at |; Everybody. sure? Who is cheated by the gloss, Nor discerns the gold from dross, Till he harvests only loss? Everybody. Who, when he has had his fling And has tested everyt Tells his fellows of the § “*Chances"’ do not exist. Success is doing one's duty. Some men waste time saving string. The wise man makes more opportu- nities than he finds. You'll not need heavy sticks to get sound from a good drum. His Description “ce RITE out an ad for Ww that Elm Street resi- dence,”’ said the Slangy Kid's new employer, the real-estate man. ‘‘It has built-in buffet, bay window on the south, dis- appearing beds, combini gas and electric chandeliers, maid’s room in basement, fire- place in the library, lawn, flower beds, hen house and poultry run Ten minutes later the Kid handed in this: Permanent bar, alder- man’s pantry on the sunny side, vanishing dream teasers, combination wind burners and current bushes, maiden’s bower below the frost line, Santa Claus entrance to the book- shop, work for father, daisy sleepers, egg factory and shoo bid " An Embarrassing Situation She—Oh, dear! I forgot to wind my ankle watch! He—Allow me —er—that is—did you? Suzanne When prim Suzanne walks down the street, She holds her skirts just high enough To show two dainty, well-shod feet; Unl perchance, a boisterous puff Of wind comes romping up —rare treat !— When, owing to its saucy caper, She shows two ankles, trim and neat, ‘And also shows how well they taper. Egg View Note Ambrose Crosslots sa “*Purty often artificial bait is used when folks fish in the Sea of Matrimony.’” NOTHING LIKE BEGINNING EARLY Traveling via the Movies HERE was a young Claude, Just returned from a long trip abroad; Everywhere he would go, He would knowledge bestow, Believing his friends would applaud. fellow named But it seemed that this was not to be, For, no matter of what he told, he Heard this cry o’er and o'er: “Yes, we" en that before, For we go to the picture shows Harvey Bs Following Precedent Westend—Why is it that a man always has to wait for a woman? Eaxtend—Did not Adam have to wait until Eve was made up? Cruel Tools and talents are next to worthless until guided by will. A hobby is a good thing enough, but don’t stable it at the office. To paddle your canoe well now is to own your private yacht eventually. The clerk who sees ‘nothing ahead of him’ is apt to find something close behind him. —Warwick James Price, The Little Things Smith—It’s the little things that tell. Jones—Yes. 1 saw Bigpile this morning, standing on the oo Husband — When Gadzooks heard you sing at the party, he said it was a marvel. Wife—Oh, John! A marvel? Husband—Yes; a marvel that any one asked you to. A Deep One Why does My Lady smile? Is she but flouting? In torment all the while She keeps me doubting. Why is My Lady gay? The case is simp! To smile is just the way To show that dimple. Ruth Huntoon, top marble step leading to his bronze palace on the Avenue, doing his own manicuring: INADEPT Minnic—George proposed to me last night. Lillian —Doesn't he do it awkwardly, though f Under new management— the bridegroom. comicbooks.com