Judge, 1913-08-02 · page 23 of 24
Judge — August 2, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous short stories and advertisements typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine. **"Stories With Smiles"** presents three brief anecdotes mocking small-town ignorance and literal-mindedness: a hotel clerk who doesn't know poet James Whitcomb Riley by name; a farmer complaining that postage stamps taste like kerosene after being stored near lamp oil; and a clever French poet who escapes a creditor by removing his lather mid-shave. **The Schlitz Beer Advertisement** (main visual) warns against "light-decayed beer," arguing that brown bottles protect beer from light damage better than clear ones. It emphasizes purity and manufacturing standards—a selling point in an era before refrigeration and quality control were standardized. The image shows a man relaxing with a Schlitz bottle, suggesting domestic leisure. **Minor advertisements** include offers for songwriting services, comic art instruction, and jewelry credit. The satire targets provincial attitudes and commercial competition, not political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
8] DPS! Sent FoR Tok e i 4 Kas she] FRE - bd el Fl Stories ‘With Smifes i Home—An Indianapolis lawyer, ne fiend, motored down to Green- feld, Ind., the birthplace of James Whit- comb Riley, the Hoosier poet. They had fianer at the hotel. and thought they would like to see the house where Riley lived, So they asked the hotel man, “Where is the Riley house?’” “[ don’t know any hotel by that name,”’ be replied, ‘‘though there may be some soch boarding house here.’’ “I mean the James Whitcomb Riley house,” said the lawyer, thinking his host had misunderstood. “] don't know him; you may be able to find his name in the city directory.” “I guess he’s moved,"’ said the lawyer, ashe aimlessly thumbed the directory. “Probably,"’ the hotel keeper com- mented stay long in a place!’’—Saturday Even- ing Post. A Justified Kick—In a certain section of Jersey there is a village grocery store, where, besides salt and prunes, every- thing may be purchased, from a collar fora pet rhinoceros to a sprocket wheel for a pianola. Together with this, the grocery store is the local post-office. Afew days ago a farmer entered the store wit something on his mind, and, after taking a fresh chew of tobacco to fortify himself, he leisurely approached the counter. “Look here, David,’? he complainingly remarked, addressing the proprietor, ‘I ain't kickin’ none, but ain't ther some way that ye kin kind 0” sepperate yer grocery bizness an’ yer post-office biz- ness, so thet they won’t mix quite so moch?"” “There you go complainin’ ag’in, Joshua!” responded -the grocery man. “What's achin’ you this time?” “No hard feelin’s, David,’? rejoined Uncle Josh; ‘‘but t’other day I got some postage stamps here jes’ arter Jake Smith got two gallons o’ ile, an’ every derned one 0’ them tasted o’ kerosene."’—Phila- dlphia Telegraph. Agreed Too Soon—The celebrated French poet, Saint-Foix, who, in spite of his large income, was always in debt, sat one ay in a _barber’s shop waiting to be shaved. He was already lathered, when the door opened and a tailor entered who bippened to be one of the poet's largest ereditors. No sooner did this man see Ssint-Foix than he angrily demanded his money. The poet composedly begged him not to make a scene. ‘‘Won’t you wait for the money until I am shaved?’’ be asked. “Certainly,’’ said the other, pleased at the prospect. Saint-Foix then made the barber a wit- ness of the agreement, and immediately tok a towel, wiped the lather from his face and left the shop. He wore a beard othe end of his days.—Pathfinder. Some of them Irish don’t” You must drink beer not only made pure, but kept pure. Purity exceeds all other costs in our . brewery. We even filter the air in which Schlitz is cooled. We scald every tub, keg and barrel, every pipe and pump, every time we use it. Then, instead of putting pure beer in light glass bottles we use Brown Bottles. Light starts decay even in pure beer. The Brown Bottle protects Schlitz purity from the tection against light. brewery to your glass. We_began in a hut, sixty years ago. Dark glass gives the best pro- Today our agencies dot the earth. Our output exceeds a million barrels a year. More and more people each year are drinking Schlitz. e yh he eer Why don’t you, too, drink only pure beer — Schlitz in Brown Bottles? See that crown or cork is branded “Schlitz.” 36-M That Made Milwaukee Famous. SHE: “THEY MUST BE VERY HAPPY together.” HE: ‘“‘Why do you think so?" SHE: | ‘He gave her a fine diamond ring from Loftis Bros. & Co., the Credit House, Dept. No. B-874, Chicago, Ill.” Send for catalog. pald thousands of Gob lare to amatear soog writers, t Fxpericnce not necessary, Write for free par today for free ex: ance guarant Big Sone slag Ueautifully illustrated book and valuable advice alll free. DUGDALE CO., 19 Dugdale Bidg., Wastington, D, C. IF YOU ARE A “PROGRESSIVE” YOU'LL own and wear the emblem of progress—a genu- ine diamond. Big bargains on credit at Loftis Bros. & Co., Diamond Merchants, Dept. No. B-874, Chicago, Ill. Send for catalog. BE AN ARTIST MAKE MONEY Drawing comic pictures, Let the world’s famous cartoonist, “ZIM” spill a few ideas into your head, Get the Zim Book—it's chuck full of valuable suggestions. Price $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Merocco, Satisfaction guaranteed. Money back if book is returned within 10 days.-~ Address ZIM BOOK 1149 Brunswick Building . New York In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com