Judge, 1913-08-02 · page 14 of 24
Judge — August 2, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **"A Fly Cop"** shows an illustration of a fly on a human foot—a visual pun on the term "cop" (police officer). **"The Quiet Life"** is a poem celebrating Obijah Jones, a rural farmer who deliberately avoids modern life's anxieties—newspapers, elections, wars, volcanoes. The satire targets both urban anxiety and rural simplicity, presenting his deliberate ignorance as paradoxically peaceful yet absurd. **Other brief pieces** mock dating customs ("Definite"), generational debates about female modesty ("The Reason for It"), and gender relations ("He Makes a Point"). The last joke suggests men claim superiority while being unable to button their own clothing—a jab at masculine pretension. **"Glad Vacation Time"** depicts a boy's philosophical musings interrupted by farm chores, satirizing both youthful existentialism and parental discipline. The advertisements for divorce and legal services appear standard for the era. Overall, the page reflects early-1900s preoccupations with urbanization, changing social mores, and gender dynamics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A FLY COP The Quiet Life BIJAH JONES, removed from strife, Just revels in the quiet life. He is content with simple fare, And company is caviare. He never will speak to a maid, And of all women is afraid. He thinks that travel is too dear, And goes to town but once a year. At cock-crow he will rub his eyes, And some time later will arise. Alone with chickens and a hen, A shoat or two within the pen, A cow, a yellow dog and mule, He cares not who the land may rule. He knows not of things that amuse, And never once has read the news. The world’s metropolis might sink Of sleep he'd never lose a wink. Voleanoes spouting liquid fire Earthquakes with consequences dire, Elections, wars and mighty haps For these he does not care two raps. He owns two acres and a shack, And with hi> work is always slack. He'll pr‘! ound when weather lets, And wh-a it rains he ‘‘sets an’ sets.”” His grub would wreck a bill of fare, And some would list it as hardware. The rules of health to him are Greek, But doctors he needs never see Such life the hygienists mocks, But there you have the paradox! S.A. Watdewn Definite “I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long,’’ gushed the girl. “Only about three dollars’ worth,’’ es- timated the young man with the taxicab outside. The Reason for It Grandma—In my day girls were more modest and reserved than they are now. May—That's because you were taught that modesty and reserve were more al- luring to the men. Glad Vacation Time HE BOY home from ool for the summer vacation on the r old farm rested on his hoe and g d over across the broad, hay-scented field where the game “Ah,"' sa born? Why lu n into cone! to buffet the storms of this unkind world? What, then, this problem of human existence with which Science has wrestled futilely for ages And his revered parent, leaning over the fer said he didn’t know; but, all the same, there would be no baseball for sonny that afternoon, and, if he didn’t hoe out that ‘tater patch there’d be some wrestling done that'd make Science open her ey should chance along by the woodsh Bt Matt us going on. hing, ‘why are we 1 nothing- evening. Philosophical HE philosophical proprietor of a sea side hotel ‘ended his Rules Bulletin for men thus: ‘Remember, ‘Time tide wait for no man.’ For ladies’ m see other Bul nt" Packing-room Comedy George— Rudolf, go downstairs and get Rudolf What's that? George— You know, that stuff that looks like hay. Rudolf celsior! Oh, that long sawdust! He Makes a Point “Women will never get the upper hand. Men are too smart.’* you point out one instance of men smarter than wor Ld “Well, men don't hand with clothes that button up the back p themsel comicbooks.com