Judge, 1913-07-26 · page 6 of 24
Judge — July 26, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the newly-implemented income tax (likely the 1913 federal income tax) through a poem questioning whether citizens will honestly report their finances. The main cartoon contrasts the government's demand for truthfulness about income with the hypocrisy of everyday life—a man won't tell his fiancée the truth about his constancy, yet is expected to truthfully declare every penny earned and stock return. The satire's point: Americans habitually lie in personal matters but are suddenly expected to be scrupulously honest with tax authorities. The repeated refrain "Tell the truth!" emphasizes this absurd double standard. The surrounding "Doorsteps" section contains humorous quips and puns unrelated to the main theme, while other jokes mock marital dynamics and insurance solicitors—typical Judge magazine filler content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Best Policy AN income tax they frame, And you find they've got your name Wiil you truthfully dis- close All that in your pocket goes? Will you count each fee you earned, Tell how much your stocks returned? Will you, on your honor true, Pay the utmost cent that’s due? IF Tell the truth, sir, if you can! Tell the whole truth like a man! Would you stoop to lies, forsooth? Tell the truth! If to wed a girl you seek, And the maiden thus should speak: “*When we're married, will you be Just as you are now to me? Will you bring me sweets and flowers, Sit and hold my hand for hours? Will you take me to the play, Never care from me to stray?”’ Tell the truth, sir, like a man! Tell the whole truth if you can! Falsehood is a serpent’s tooth— Tell the truth!—R. 11. Titheringtun In New York Howard—Here's a man who says that happiness depends on the cook. Coward—In more cases it depends on the delicatessen shop. DOORSTEPS Food for Thought A savory morsel of scandal. A pretty kettle of fish. The cold shoulder. A perfect stew. A nice hash, Some square and cube roots. His cooked goose. Sauce for the goose. Tongue of rumor. Trifles light as air. A regular pudding. Honeyed words. Candid opinions. Apples of discord. Fruit of experience, Milk in the cocoanut. Cream of the joke. Geo. B. Morewood. It Was True Baker—I understand your late wife could make everything PREOCCUPIED Hero—For goodness sake, why don't you go in? is fine! Leander—Chap at the bath-house told me to remember my bath-bouse number, and I''m trying to keep it in my mind. The water in the cookbook. Dyspeptic—She not only could, but did. Hard To Choose HE jury has been out a long time.” “Yes; and I doubt their ever reaching a verdict. You see, the case is one in which a life-insurance solicitor is suing a book agent, and I fancy the jury- men are trying to figure out some scheme for sticking them both.’’ Her Figure “He fell in love with her figure."’ No wonder, for she was a peach. He shook at the thought of proposing— She seemed so far out of reach. “He fell in love with her figure.” She was constantly in his thoughts. No wonder he loved her so madly— Her figure was one and six naughts! —Joe Cone. Unfailing Remedy Mrs. Newed (to dear friend)—What’s the secret of getting a new frock out of hubby after he refuses once? Mrs. Wiley—If at first you don’t suc- ceed, cry again! comicbooks.com