Judge, 1913-07-26 · page 18 of 24
Judge — July 26, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, featuring prominent ads for Beeman's Pepsin Gum, Hotel Earlington, Evans' Ale, Hunter Whiskey, and song poem submissions. The editorial content includes several short humorous pieces: **"The Hero"** is a sentimental poem about an aging baseball player whose glory days have passed. Once celebrated for his pitching prowess, he's now slow and ineffective, with crowds calling "Aw, captain, take him out!" The piece uses baseball as metaphor for life's inevitable decline—even admired figures fade and lose public sympathy when they can no longer perform. The remaining items are brief comedic vignettes typical of Judge's humor: a small-town newspaper editor's self-congratulatory account of covering a local scandal, and several short jokes about courtship and modern life (a woman in bathing clothes who isn't waterproof; a man who proposes only after buying an automobile). The overall tone reflects early 20th-century American magazine humor—sentimental, mildly satirical about social pretension, and focused on domestic/romantic comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Beeman’s Pepsin Gum The Original. All Others Are Imitations Peppermint or Wintergreen Flavor FOR SALE EVERYWHERE a EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway NEW YORK EUROPEAN PLAN q@ A Step from Broadway. q Absolutely Fireproof. Q Quiet as a Village at Night. Your Comfort Our Aim Always. Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house ‘one person, $2.50; two people, $3.50. Why y more when our service is equalled only B the best? SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 E. W. WARFIELD, Manager beeeenesesssseses from an Outing of any kind i é go hand to promote the enjoyment and bene- fits to be derived. It is the Ideal Beverage to make the Ideal Outini erywhere, ‘Amateur wrt 7 write, picqady eccr andanarein future profits, ‘Send Taelodies for only equare deal offer. Ac ‘ance euaranteed if available by Largest, Most Suc- HUNTER WHISKEY RIPENED BY MATURITY, IN ABSOLUTE PURITY FEFSEVSSII IFS GS IGT GSS SESETTT TESST TTT ST TTTTTTTTSTSTBSTSTSTITGTTS: fs ITIIIMririiiriirn The Hero H, YES! wonder, Just a few Short years ago, And used to fan the batters, One, two, three all in a row, He'd speed to bon, and curves, Ry boy, That were the country’s talk; And as we'd cheer, he'd merely nod, As to the bench he'd stalk. He was, But time has claimed its forfeit, And the old boy’s not the same. He tries to bluff the youngsters, But they’re all wise to his game. His arm is stiff, his curve is gone, He’s slow—there is no doubt; And now the cry that greets him is, “Aw, captain, take him out!" or And, in the sterner game of life, Each hero has his day, When all bow down and worship him And humble homage pay. But let him falter, lose his grip, Or dare to pause in doubt, And, left and right, you'll hear the cry, “Aw, captain, take him out!”” Ed A. Goewry, From the Polkville (Ark.) Weekly Clarion Attention is called to the fact that there is published, in another columnef this issue, the first and only account of the elopement late last night of the wife of our bosom with a certain fiend in human form, who has been operating s merry-go-round in our midst for some time past, and who at the same fel stroke embezzled our best suit of clothes into the bargain. Thus we again scores clean beat over our moribund contempo rary on the other side of the street. As soon as we finish running off this edition, we shall set out in pursuit of our clothes, and, if we overtake the recreant couple, sensational developments will appear it our next issue. Now is the time to sub scribe. Waiting for the Spur Maud—So he’s been calling on yoo regularly for ten years. Why do yo suppose he hasn't proposed? Beatriz—Oh, you see, he’s the sort of man who always does things on the spur of the moment. The Girl Who Poses Though she is dressed in bathing clothes, We see her hold aloof; And she is wise, for well she knows She is not waterproof. No Mechanical Influence “Was it a case of love at first sight? “I would hardly call it that. He did not get his auto until a month after they met.”” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com