Judge — July 26, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\ | le » a) _— ° No Complaint To Make T WAS at the vaudeville. The girl with the excruciating voice had just finished her song. ‘Just think!’’ groaned Brown, to the stranger beside him. ‘‘We paid real money to hear that!’” “I didn't,’ was the placid response. “Came in on a ‘comp.’"’ “‘But you had to spend carfare to get here, did you not?"’ asked Brown, “Nope,” replied the uncomplaining one. ‘‘I live in walking distance.’’ “But,’’ persisted Brown desperately, ‘‘at least you hoped to be entertained, not punished.’’ “No, I didn’t care, grinned the stranger. ‘‘I came to get away from home. My wife is clean- ing house.’’ No Bargain “It strikes me that young Terwilliger is rather a shiftless lot. What aim in life has he?"” = 5 Philosophy ORN blessed is he with sense of humor keen; Unless one has this gift, life is not seen. Yet all may cultivate this joy of life; Jokes, jests and jingles ofttimes lessen strife, Understand, life is but one grand alloy. Delight in being human—that is joy Great happiness and trouble ys Endeavor to accept them each in turn. A Fable of Success NCE there was a bright young man who set out to make his way in the world. Various people gave him various kinds of good advice, and finally one kindly old gentleman said, “Remember, my son, that there is always room at the top. You can get there if you try.’’ “I know a better way than that,” promptly replied the youth. ‘My tastes are simple. I will occupy a room lower down and let out all that room at the top at a good figure.’ This he did, and, accordingly, none of his descendants from that time forth ever had to doa stroke of work. Moral—There are al- ways better ways than good ways, After Trials “So she has taken an- other husband.’"" “Not as she considers it. The others were only samples,'" Suggestive “T think he rather hopes to marry a rich wife." “It’s a vain hope. Any woman with money, whether young or old, who starts out to buy a husband, can easily shop around and ‘do better than he.’” Amalgamation Johnny’s mother had instituted a fine of ten cents for every spot made on the tablecloth. One day Johnny was ob- served rubbing his finger for a long time over the cloth at his plate. “John, what are you doing?"’ said his mother at last. “Nothing. I was just trying to rub two spots into one.”” SELF-ADJUSTING Pater—Hey! Come back with my pants! Sylvia—Why, papa, you 'te not going out to-day! Pater—I know I ain't; but your ma is. The Why Teacher of hygiene—Why must we al- ways be careful to keep our homes clean and neat? Little girl—Because company may walk in at any moment. Well Chosen Going—Kidd & Morgan are running a summer hotel at the seashore, and they call it ‘‘The Breakers.’” Hasbin—They picked a good name for it. Iwas there, and they broke me. Percy—I wish to buy some paper. I am bash- ful, and am going to pro- pose to a young lady by letter.- Clerk—This is a stationery store. I guess you're looking for a hardware store. Percy—A hardware store? Clerk—Yes; you need sandpaper. Uninteresting Madge—Is she a good conversationalist? Marjorie—No. 1 couldn't get her to talk about anybody I knew. In the game of love the fellow with the royal diamond flush can always stay in against a pair of hearts. BASE Bare Te GENERAL ADMISsion THE BUNCH THAT PAYS NO DIVIDENDS comicbooks.com