Judge — July 19, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘te Obvious—‘‘My dear,” said Mrs. Soaggs to her husband, ‘‘what is a ca- mDon't you know what a canard is?” queried Snaggsrathersneeringly. “Why, the word itself conveys its own meaning!” “Does it? Well, really, I can’t see it. What does it mean, dear?’” “Why, a canard is something one ca- nartly believe, of course !"* “Qh, to besure! Why couldn’t I think of that?”’"—Savannah News, No Brutality for Him—‘‘Prize fighting isa dangerous game!’" “Seems s0."" “[ would rather see my son dead than to see him indulging in such a sport.’’ “Let's see—didn’t your son get both legs broken and his spine dislocated last year?” MThat was at football. I hope you do not think I would permit him to engage ina prize fight."’—Houston Post. A Serious Error—‘‘ You've made a mis- take in your paper,’’ said the indignant man, entering the editorial sanctum. ‘‘I was one of the competitors at the athletic match yesterday, and you have called me the well-known lightweight champion.’’ “Well, aren't you?’’ said the editor. “No, I'm nothing of the kind; and it’s confoundedly awkward, because, you see, I'macoal merchant. ''—Cleveland Leader. Too Honest—‘‘Sir,’’ said the office boy to his employer, ‘‘as you know very well that my family is in perfect health, I ask you to let me off this afternoon to go to the ball game.’* “Young man,’’ replied the boss, ‘‘you are entirely too honest. I have my sus- picions of you. You are fired.’’—Port- land Express. Proceedings Discontinued—‘‘Your hus- band is willing to allow you the custody of the automobile, the poodle and the rubber plant, while he takes the children and the graphophone.’’ “Stop the divorce,’ sobbed the wife. “T'll never get another husband like that.""—Louisville Courier-Journal. A Humanitarian Shocked—‘‘Doesn’t it bamiliate you to have to go through life this way?"? asked the sympathetic woman as she purchased a photograph. “Yes, ma’am,’’ replied the Bearded Lady. “If it wasn't for the wife and kids, I'd throw up the job to-day.”-— Cincinnati Enquirer. Retaliation — Father — You have no sense! I’m going to cut you off witha million! _ Som—If you do, I'll disgrace the fam- ily by riding around in a secondhand auto. —New York Globe. : Vilas Wom G cit | I i ©. Without that Taste or Odor - That offensive taste and odor in some beers is easily avoided. Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass gives the best protection against light. “While beer quickly deteriorates when it is exposed to direct su: light, such deterioration, although greatly retarded, will event- ually take place in diffused light.* ** Beer exposed to the rays of the sun will very quickly acquire the so-called ‘skunk taste’."” Extract from Proceedings of the Second International Brewers* Congress held in Chicago October 19-21, 1911. Vol. 1, page 300. We have adopted every invention, every idea that make for purity. The Brown Bottle is only another step in Schlitz progress. Our beer was first brewed in a hut. Today our agencies dot the earth. Our output exceeds a million barrels a year. More and more people every year are drinking Schlitz. Why don’t you? See that crown or cork is branded “* Schlitz."* DICK, OLD BOY: JUST “PUT ONE OVER” =the engagement ring, I mean. Loftis Bros. & : Co., the Diamond-on-Credit House, did the trick | by giving me credit, Dept. No. B-874, Chicago, {i “Send for catalog: 11TH STREET AND UNIVERSITY PLACE One Block West of Broadway FOR MEN OF BRAINS NEW YORK CITY GARS Close to Wholesale and Retail Goods Districts, Railroad and St Lines MODERN ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF MADE AT KEY WEST+~ 300 Rooms (200 with Bath) IF YOUR BEST GIRL IS GETTING TIRED RATES $1.00 PER DAY UP of you and prefers the other fellow, try the Recelient Restaurant and Cote charm of a diamond ring from Loftis Bros. & Co., Dept. No. B-874, Chicago, lil. Send for SSE Se ai Sanne a eae ot Ne SE free catalog, and open a charge account. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com