Judge — July 12, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nothing To Fear «you UNDERSTAND that I cannot allow any cooking or laundry work in my rooms,’’ said the landlady to the ap- plicant who had just en- gaged a ten-by-twelve back room at three dol- lars a week. “Oh, certainly, to be sure! I never try to do any cooking or laundry work in my room, for I take my meals out and send my things to the laun- dry. Of course I may now and then wash out a few handkerchiefs in my room, or possibly a pair of stockings or a strip of tace or ribbon or something of that kind; but as for really doing any washing, I wouldn't think of such a thing. When it comes to cooking, I have a little one-burn- er oil stove that I might now and then PAPA’S COMMENT Son—Father, Sally has promised at last to marry me Father—Well, you needn't come to me for sympathy. I told you that you 'd get into trouble if you didn't keep away from that girl. use to make a little tea or boil an egg or make an omelet when it was bad weath- eror I didn’t feel quite like going out. Then I have a very nice chafing dish, in which I now and then get myself up alittle luncheon or even a little din- ner, for one can do so many things with a chafing dish when one knows how. A friend of mine has a dinner menu, every course of which can be prepared with a chafing dish. Just for the jollity of it, I might want to ask a friend or two in to dine with me some evening and give them a chaf- ing-dish menu. Or I might want to get my luncheon in my room on a hot day to save going out in the heat; but as for really doing any washing or cooking in my room, you need give SHR sort. Such things come handy, even when one is taking one’s meals out, you know.’’ Max Merryman. X HE difference 'twixt a maid and wife’s extensive— A maid is pensive, and a wife ex-pensive! A maid conceals her thorns be- neath the roses; That is, she poses, while a wife ex-poses. Then wedlock much increases her alertness— A maid shows pertness, and a ex-pertness. Again, one often finds a maid- en acting; to. A wife, some claim, is often found ex-acting. Thus X, the unknown quantity, perplexes The man who fain would study what ‘‘the sex’’ is! —tieo. B. Morewood. itself. Dangerous “*What a glorious moo! cried Gracie Gush. ‘**Do you not love such nights as this?” “TI do not,” replied Mr. Bachelder bitterly. ‘‘It was just sucha night as this that got me into a breach-of- promise suit.’” Bits of Wisdom Fortune is to desire as fuel to fire, for it both feeds it and perishes by it. Seeker for Happiness, go as a pilgrim and find these: A child who is not curious, a man who is not greedy, and a woman who is not vain. When thou shalt find these, thou wilt find Happiness in their company. DOMESTICITY She—You don't speak to me as affectionately as you used Don't you love me any more? He—There you go again ! Now shut up and let me read my paper! Why, I love you more than life His Penance HE loved to dive, and he loved to swim, And he loved in the tide to play; Then what in the world was the matter with him That he sat on the sands all day? He sat by a girl whose bathing suit, Whose cap and whose shoes were dry; And she would have thought him a per- fect brute If he hadn’t—so that was why! —M.S. Bridges. His Kind Mr. Undersize—1 wish 1 could have known you in my salad days. Miss Pert—I don't. I never cared for shrimp salad. Well Qualified “Did you hear that that poor fellow who lost both his legs in an automobile accident intends to go into politics?”’ “‘No. How can he, without a leg to stand on?” “Oh, he expects to go on the stump!” shreeasen + yourself no concern on that account. I wonder if I could have a couple of shelves put in the closet, for dishes and an iron or two and things of that POLITENESS EFFECTIVE Mamma—Why do you persist in walking on the grass ‘Murie!—But, mamma, on the other side the sign says ‘* plot on this side? You never walk on the other side. Please!" comicbooks.com