Judge, 1913-07-12 · page 7 of 24
Judge — July 12, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces satirizing summer social life circa early 1900s: **"After a Summer's Flirtations"** (top): A cartoon showing a woman and man on a dusty road encountering automobiles—then the new technology disrupting countryside life. The joke: he won't ride in cars, claiming poverty, yet she suspects he prioritized marrying her over pursuing a wealthier woman. The satire targets both male financial irresponsibility and the transactional nature of marriage. **"An Alphabet of Midsummer"**: An alliterative list mocking summer leisure activities—beaches, hammocks, automobiles, romance—as frivolous pursuits of the leisured classes. Items like "Negligees necessarily numerous" and "Matrons manipulating matrimony" satirize Victorian courtship rituals. **"Plaint of the Pessimistic Tourist"** (bottom right): A pessimist complaining that regardless of weather conditions, he encounters disappointment—attacking the character type of chronic complainers. The overall page ridicules upper-class summer behavior, romantic conventions, and personality types through gentle, domestic humor typical of Judge's satirical approach to American social life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AFTER A SUMMER'S FLIRTATIONS Of a Kindly Nature The Foolish Man “‘Henry,’’ she said severely, ‘I knew “How should you define eugenics?”’ MAN and a woman were walking aHR eu paren Hy pales “Oh, it’s good nature systematized, or along a country road on their way ised eo dust and all, right there in thescience of being to call on a neighbor. Presently they ihe Cublic hichwa pax s well bred.” heard a honk back of them and quickly Pp bike stepped aside to let an automobile pass. He angered her, there's no dispute: Flubdub—What Ag they were getting the dust out of She thought Newaratebeee do you consider the their throats and clothing, the woman He asked her if her bathing suit, most delicate form spoke. This year, would be a tube. of flattery? “‘Henry,”’ she said, ‘‘why don’t Conic Telling you ride in a thing like that in- 2 a married man he stead of walking as you do?” ent. doesn't look it. “Because, Mary,"’ he replied, An Alphabet of Midsummer with no sign of shame, ‘‘I have- PI n’t money enough to pay the cost Automobiles affording air. of it.’” Bathers bedecking beaches, “Why haven’t you the money, Sede teenie ae Henry?” she persisted. Evenings exquisitely enchanting. Because, Mary, I have not Fans fluttering flirtatiously. been able to get it since I'mar- Girls glittering gorgeously. ried you, oo. Hammocks harboring humans. If there were any insinuation Ice inviting intimacy. in that, she ignored it. Juleps joyously juggled. “Well, why didn’t you get it Kool konditions kontrived. before you married me?’’ she Lanterns lighting lawns. asked. Matrons manipulating matrimony. “Because, Mary, there were Negligees necessarily numerous. ‘read - Openwork occasionally observed. Fensone. icate Parks pleasantly populated. “Could you have got it? Quill-drivers quaffing quenchers. Tam quite sure that I could Roof-gardens re-echoing ragtime. have done so."” Seasides swarming with swimmers, “Then, in heaven’s name, Hén- Tourists traveling by thousands. ry, why didn’t you?”” Urban utilities utilized. . “Because, Mary, I preferred Vacationists vacillating variously. you, as poor as we both were, Widows winking winsomely. to a millionaire lady who wanted 'Xcursions 'xciting 'xpectations. Sant Fr Yankees yearning for yachts. She spite oe. pnt " PLAINT OF THE PESSIMISTIC TOURIST Zanies zigzagging zealous} je stopped dusting herself « y4y usual luck! Wet days I get wet towns, dry days “dry "* —Harvey Peake. and looked at him. towns." comicbooks.com