Judge — July 12, 1913 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DINE AT THE FAMOUS OUTDOOR RESTAURANT “New York's Most Popular and Fashion- able Resort by the Sea." “An Oriental Dinner” served on the spacious ja to the accompaniment of delightful music is a memorable pleas- ure of the Summer Season. Average temperature 70 degrees, half hour by train, one hour by auto. Unsurpassed Surt Bathing. Tennis Courts. Deep Sea Fishing, Boating, Salling. ORIENTAL HOTEL Now Open. European Plan. Concerts by Mercadante's Orchestra. Auto roads direct to hotel entrance. Garage and parking accommodations. JOSEPH P. GREAVES, Manager. (Florida East Coast Hotel Co.) Booking Orfice, 243 Fifth Ave., N. Y. ‘Tels, 9230-9231 Madison Square, HOTEL ARLINGTON 18-20 WEST 28th STREET Just off Broadway and Madison Square NEW YORK Twelve-story fireproof building—handsomely furnished Rooms—modern in all respects. In the centre of the shopping and theatrical sections. Booklet. RATES, $1.00 PER DAY UP E. W. AUSTIN, Mer. V. A. AUSTIN, Prop. STEND ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. “Where the Surf Sings You to Sleep” Right at Chelsea's Fashionable Bathing Beach. Here you find rest in aban- dance. ‘The ocean rolls and surges right up to—and under the hotel piazza, its music is grand and soothing. Distinctly, the Ostend has the finest loca: tion on the Beach, Within easy walking distance and roller chair ride to the center of life and gaiety for which Atlantic City is famous. The Hotel is equipped with everything necessary for human comfort and caters to the best patronage. All baths, private and public, have hot and cold running, fresh and sea water. When the temperature is highest and cities hot and grimy the Ostend is the coolest and most comforable hotel in Atlantic City. Rooms large, airy, and 95 per cent. of them overlook the ocean. Special rates to single men. Rates are reasonable Write for booklet and reservation DAVID P. RAHTER, Proprietor and Manager HOTEL OSTEND, ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. Stories -with Smiles Unladylike Cow—'*‘Treat the cow asa lady,’’ is the advice of a distinguished Wisconsin dairyman. Elmer Peterson, editor of the Cimarron Jacksonian, re- plies: ‘*We own a cow, so this advice is very interesting. When we go to water her, + she lunges at the bucket and worries it all over the lot. When we bring her dainty repast of corn, chop and bran, it takes expert manipu n to get by and shove the feed into the manger without being trampled to death or kicked through the side of her boudoir. When we milk, in the summer, she seems to have the idea that all the flies are on our face and, obligingly tries to switch them off. In the winter, when there are no flies, she swats us in the eye from force of habit. Every once in a while she gracefully side- steps and stands on our foot. If the gentleman from Wisconsin means people should not be cruel to the cow, we are with him; but we maintain that no true lady will act like a cow, and as long as our cow acts like she dces, we'll be blamed if we'll treat her like a lady.""— Kansas City Star, Tricking Her—The editor of a great magazine sent fora certain author who \d submitted an unsolicited ‘m script. am glad to make your acq tance, said the editor enthusiastically, “The story you sent us is perfectly splen- did. But why use a nom de plume? Let us publish it over your own name, and it will make you famous.’’ “I'm not after fame,’’ objected the author. ‘‘It's money I want.’’ “But you'll get just as much money in either case,"’ “‘No, I won't. If I publish it over my own name, my wife will get the money.”” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. In the Singular—George Ade, at the Chicago Athletic Club, listened to a youth's passionate panegyric on love. ‘Wait till you've married her,'’ said Mr. Ade. ‘‘Wait till you've been mar- ried to her fifteen or twenty years. Then you'll be like Sinnickson, “*Sinnickson’s wife looked up from a novel the other evening and said dreamily, “I've been thinking, dear, of our courtship—those ecstatic days!’ “**Humph!’ said Sinnickson, shaking his fat, bald head. ‘That ecstatic daze, you mean.’ '’— Washington Star. Hard Work, Too—** What do you want?”’ demanded Mr. Newlywed, as he confronted the tramp at the door of the bungalow. “Breakfast or work?"” “Both, sir,’’ replied the wayfarer tim- idly. “Well, eat that,’’ returned the other savagely, handing out a biscuit and a piece of steak, ‘‘and you'll have both.’” Whereupon Mrs. Newlywed glanced re- proachfully at her husband, for he was giving away the first fruits of her culi- nary studies at the cooking school. Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com