Judge, 1913-07-05 · page 6 of 24
Judge — July 5, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking early 1900s social movements and female aspirations. The main story follows three women reuniting after years apart. Each represents a failed "uplift" movement: Angela worked in fashion; Nessie attempted the "uplift movement" (likely women's physical culture/exercise fads) until her back gave out; Marguerite is marrying a farmer. The satire targets women's ambitions—their French affectations, failed self-improvement schemes, and ultimate retreat into domesticity and marriage. The joke is that none achieved genuine betterment despite their efforts. "Moonshine" is a brief romance joke about a couple's public declaration of love. "When Bubbles Burst" mocks a woman defending her consumption habits as "uplift work," now planning to reform her husband instead—satirizing how women redirect their reformist energy toward controlling men's behavior. "Taking a House in the Country" is a photography pun: the "Koddack" (Kodak camera brand) enthusiast literally "snapped" a house he liked, confusing photography with property acquisition.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
roses, but, as was natural to a near- Parisian, she now pronounced ‘‘roses'’ with the French accent —‘‘rouges."’ “However, I managed until there came a freeze in Wall Street and every flower in my hothouse froze. Then my lingual abilities enabled me to secure a position in Madam Modeeste’s French gown shop." “*Your pronunciation used to be fright- ful,’’ recalled Nessie. “It is yet,’’ responded Angela; ‘‘but my gesticulation is perfect. Anyway, there is more of the Parisian in my ac- cent than in the gowns. People who know the difference in either don’t trade at our shop. What of the uplift move- ment?’’ she asked of Marguerite. ‘‘Did it rise to the heights you hoped?” “Oh, I lifted things, and very success- fally, too, until my back gave out. You see,’’ she explained, ‘‘everybody, after I had carried them to the top story, cut the ropes and let the elevator fall upon the scrap heap in the basement. In time I grew tired of mending the cables, and hooked my crane to my own boot straps,”” she smiled. It was plain that she only of the three had improved with the years. A complexion specialist and hairdresser had worked wonders, and somehow, it boots not how, she had acquired a pleas- ing plumpness. * “You are going to marry!’’ accused Angela. ‘‘Whom “Afarmer. Notan agricultural college gtaduate,’’ she assured them, when they looked at her pityingly; ‘‘so he will be able to raise enough for home consump- tion, at least. I'll invite you out fora boiled vegetable dinner some day.’’ Mull Budlulh tar. MOONSHINE Gladys—Billy, do you swear you love me? Billy—You know I love you. Gladys—On the bench out in the moonlight! WHEN BUBBLES BURST “‘Aren't you ashamed to ‘shorten the food supply of the poor’?"’ teased Angela, “They wouldn’t need so much if they'd chew their food. AndIneeda change of diet,’’ pleaded Marguerite. “*Have you abandoned the uplift cause entirely?’’ asked Nessie. “‘No. In future I shall work upon my husband instead of upon strangers. Besides him,”’ said Marguerite, with a blush or as near one as was possible at forty-two, ‘‘I may attempt to bring up a few little things.”” Taking a House in the Country City Man—So you have taken a house in the country at last ? Koddack— Sure. While passing Park Hill with my camera ! saw a very attractive residence which ap- pealed to me so strongly that I had to snap it right away. Beware the woman who never re- sorts to tears. me to swear it on? comicbooks.com