Judge, 1913-07-05 · page 19 of 24
Judge — July 5, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece critiques women's theater etiquette, specifically large feathered hats that obstructed other patrons' views—a genuine social complaint of the era. The "judge" sentences an offending woman to experience her own obstruction by positioning a large woman in front of her at bargain sales for six months, creating symmetrical comeuppance. The satire targets women's vanity and disregard for others' rights, while also highlighting a gender double standard: men were barred from wearing hats in theaters by "honorable custom," yet women faced no equivalent social pressure. The piece uses exaggerated punishment to shame women into considering collective courtesy rather than individual fashion freedom. The page also includes brief humorous anecdotes and AT&T corporate advertising using coral polyp growth as metaphor for telephone system expansion—unrelated editorial content typical of Judge magazine's mixed format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Up for Sentence One Woman Offcader yeu SAY this woman occupied the seat front of you at the theater, and, although her hat is reasonably small, the great feather in it destroyed your view of the play? Very well. Now, madam, what have you to say for yourself? You think you have a right to wear what you please at the theater, eh? But suppose the com- plainant in this case were to sit in front of you at the theater, every time you wanted to witness a play, and wore a stovepipe hat or some contraption on his head that eclipsed the stage? You wouldn’t like it, would you? What's that? Men have no right to wear hats in the theater? Of course they haven’t, by honorable custom. But the courtesy which permits women to dress as their vanity dictates should have care wet || some influence to lead them to regard tke : aikire |) rights of others at the theater and else- fe and where, should it not? What am I going todo about it? Well, ry for 2 : madam, in this case I am vested with 2% 1) exceptional powers, for the purpose of Tren conveying a lesson, I sentence you to cant |) find a large, fat woman, who obscures the view and fills the space you may wish to occupy at every bargain sale you at- tend during the next six months. And, after that experience, I think you will bear in mind the persons that may sit behind you whenever you go to the thea- terhereafter. Next case! Egg View Notes Os Peachblow, the closest man in Fur- row County, is doing a lot of first-class thinking lately. Ever since he heard that time was money, he’s been trying to think of some way for getting out of spending it. Through thé fellow who rescues the gitl in the moving-picture cowboy play that is going to be made here, young Cliff Tansy has got a job in the city. Cliff is going to be a moving-picture operator. When old Gabe Tansy, his fa- ther, was interviewed, he said that if Cliff didn’t take to turning a picture machine any better than he did a grind- stone, they'd be hard up for help if they kept him. Hard Luck | Quizzer—What's the matter, old man? | You look worried. Sizzer—I have cause to. to trace my pedigree. Quizzer—Well, what's the Hasn't he been successful? Si —Suecessful! I should say he m paying him hush-money. I hired aman trouble? Overheard at the Party Ted—Why do you think Miss Cutlowe is clear gold? Ned—By the way she withstands the acid teat, when some of the other women look at her. In the depths of tropical seas the coral polyps are at work. They are nourished by the ocean, and they grow and multiply because they cannot help it. Finally a coral island emerges from the ocean. It collects sand and seeds, until it becomes a fit home for birds, beasts and men. In the same way the telephone system has grown, gradually at first, but steadily and irresistibly. It could not stop growing. To stop would mean disaster. One Policy Coral Builders and the Bell The BellSystem, starting with a few scattered exchanges, was carried for- ward byan increasing public demand. System Each new connection disclosed a need for other new connections, and millions of dollars had to be poured into the business to provide the 7,500,000 telephones now connected. And the end is not yet, for the growth of the Bell System is still irresistible, because the needs of the people will not be satisfied except by universalcommunication. Thesystem is large because the country is large. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One System Universal Service AGENTS SALESMAN MANAGERS YOUNG OR OLD NEW CUSINESS fore and Massure tool feate BLACKSTO: In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. NEW B BUSINESS UST r OUT wittt Gd asewii ‘ THE Bi CENTURY ‘WONDER in an honest, clean, reliable, permanent, money-making business, Sold on a money-back guarantee The Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massoge, Nac Machine YY No Cost to Operate. Lasts Lite-’ giome. Competiti yw Fick reach of ail. Tha Shy lesenn Togell it face 01 n ant relict ca can bo siren a ‘il yt rman tho most skeptical person. "Sales caslly made.” hat Others Do, So AGENTS GENERAL AGENTS ROAD MEN MAKE MONEY HERE START NOW—TODAY US NEW INVENTION, siness, a rice within ‘dot moves 131 7 body, brin Co comicbooks.com