Judge — July 5, 1913 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Who’s Whosiers Everywhere OHNSON—Hiram, the Chevalier Bay- ard of Sacramento, sans purr, et sans approach. Leading humorist of the Pa- cific coast, and incidentally Governor of California, wherein he is a stanch advo- cate of States’ rights, though on this side of the Rockies he has gained fame as a most aggressive antagonist thereof. Burst upon an anxiously expectant world somewhere at some time subsequent to the Creation, the exact date and place being unrecorded in any of the best-known treasuries of personal gosstp extant, or, at least, within reach at this moment, but presumably not far from the Cave of the Winds, in March, some time in the nine- teenth century and after the Civil War, for there is no record of his having per- sonally handled that great conflict. His earliest known words were, “If I can’t be first in the hearts of my countrymen, I can at least be second or third, if not fourth or fifth; only I must be some- where.’’ Has been known as an ultra- progressive from the beginning, showing even in his childhood days a marked in- clination to play croquet, for instance, without wickets, balls or mallets, believ- ing that by agreement among the parties to the game the old conservative ideas of croquet could, in the interests of prog- ress, be overthrown, and the dead hand of atyrannic past struck down, by play- ing the game with billiard cues without tips, with square balls of Georgia pine, on a dining-room table. Studied law in his early youth, discov- ering at a glance and with singular as- tuteness for one so young all the utter unreasonableness of every statute ever made since time began, outside of the famous Declaration of Moral Principles anced in-the historic Oyster Bay re. ion of the Ten Commandments. Hav- ing lost one or two cases at the bar, be- came one of the earliest advocates of the principle of the recall of judges, found- ing his opposition to their permanent tenure of their office upon a profound conviction that, as the people are the source of the law, it must be interpreted according to the popular will of the mo- ment, such popular will to be ascertained by the judges by ringing him up on the telephone and getting the information at first hand. ‘*What’s testimony in the eyes of the public view?’’ he is said to have demanded. For many years served as a member of the Republican party, occupying every office in its gift which it was willing to give him, and was by it elected Governor of California; having obtained which high office, he became a Bull Moose, toss- ing his party to the winds, in return for which service he was nominated for the vice-presidency of the United States in 1912, at the meeting of the Sons and Daughters of Armageddon, at Chicago, You’re ““The Picture Of Coolness’? In B. V.°D. RIFLES don’t nag you—heat doesn’t fag you in Loose Fittings Light You’re not chafed and confined, as in tight underwear. You /zy in the feeling of muscle-freedom, as well as in the coolness of B. V. D. Coat Cut Undershirts and Knee Length Drawers, or Comfort and common sense say “B. V. D.” To get genuine B. V. D. get a good look at the dalel. On every B. V. D. Undergarment is sewed Woven B. V. D. Union Suits. fitting This Red Woven Late! (Trade Mark Reg. U. 8 Pat. OF, and Foreign Countries.) Insist that your dealer sells you only underwear with the B.V. D. label. B.V.D. Coat Cut Undershirts and Knee Length Drawers, 5d¢., 75t.y $1.00 and $1.50 the Garment. B.V.D. Union Suits (Pat. U.S.Avy 4-30-07.) $1,090, $1.5), $2.00, $3.00 and $5.00 the The B.V.D. Company, New York. | London Selling Agency: 66 Avpeamaxpury, E. C. Hot Spr Atlanta. 6: Diente Ht. inga, Ark. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. For Liquor and Drug Users A scientific treatment which has cured half a million in the past thirty-three years, and the one treatment which has stood the severe test of time. Adminis- tered by medical experts, at the Keeley Institutes only, For full particulars write To the Following Keeley Institutes: Oklahoma City, Okla. 98N. Stiles St. Waukesha, Wis Pailadelpbia, Pa. 12 N. road St Winnipeg. Manitoba, ‘a. tus Pitta Guatemala City, Guatemala, Puebla, Mexico. Sait Lake City, Utah, London. England Seattle, Wash. comicbooks.com