Judge — June 28, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

If a Lad Love F A LAD love and a lass never care, Now tell me, come tell me, what shall a lad do? Sit down with his trouble and dine off despair, While other lads sit with their sweet- hearts and woo? No, no! Let me tell you, that never would do! No, never would do! There's only one thing I can think on to do— Only one thing, and I'd do it, I swear! Although, it is true, ‘tis old as ‘tis new— Just kiss her and kiss her, however she flare, And take ye no care whatever she swear, Whatever she swear, sir, or do. For women be women, and care not a hair For the man who don't dare, however he woo; And they who would win 'em, foul weather or fair, Must fly them, not follow, and they will pursue: And that is the way, let me tell you, to woo! The way, sir, to W00!—.tedinn Cawein. THE TYRANTS Would Can the Peaches ONES was showing his wife and her friend, Mrs. Brown, around the new offices. He left them in the waiting-room for a few minutes, while he answered a telephone call, and the conversation be- tween the two women drifted to house- hold matters, “(And have you put up much fruit this year, Mrs. Jones?"’ asked Mrs. Brow lot very much so far,’’ answered Mrs. Jones; ‘‘but,’’ as her gaze wan- dered across the room, where several pretty stenographers were working, ‘I intend to can a few peaches very soon."” The Bright Side “It is said that more than one person has been killed by kissing." “Yes; but isn’t it great stuff if you live through it?”’ The Happy Man He—They say Sally Simpson is married —at last. She—Who's the happy man? He—Her father, of course. The Waning of the Moon IS LINEN is immaculate; His nails are neatly manicured. Her powdered nose no freckle shows, Her hair has lately been coiffured. They sit in a secluded nook, And surreptitiously they spoon; And we who see them smile, because We know they're on their honeymoon. Upon the bosom of his shirt A stain of egg is evident; Round him and his apparel clings A very strong tobacco scent. She, in a state of negligee, Toys carelessly with knife and spoon. Alas! She can’t or won't avert The waning of the honeymoon. Lydia M. Dunham O'Ne In Washington Eastern applicant—They public office bein’ a public trust—— talk about Western office-seeker—And then they No Trust”’ sign all over this A Real Sleeper Attorney for the defendant—Isn't your husband subject to insomnia? Prosecuting wife—Insom- He Got His Grouch—There goes a man who robbed me of a large fortune. Gink—He robbed you of a fortune, and still he is enjoying his liberty! Grouch—Not by a darned sight! He married the rich widow I was after. Taken Out Too Soon Mrs. Newlywed — These hen’s eggs seem very small this morning. Farmer—Can’t help it, lady. Mrs. Newlywed — Well, let my next ones stay in the nests a little longer. nia? Well, I guess not! That man couldn’t be kept awake if his pajamas we! lined with mustard plas- ters! Summer Nights Little tender squeezes, Now and then a kiss, Fill a summer evening Brimming full of bliss. Lead and Follow Affable city hostess-—You do not seem to be having a good time. Don’t you like our social leaders? IN UTAH Client—Judge, what is the penalty for bigamy? Judge—Plaral mothers-in-law. Uncle Ebeh—You bet 1 do! It’s your durned un- social followers that 1 don't like. comicbooks.com