Judge — June 21, 1913 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drink. of Gentlemen «22 Generations Down through the years, for more than a century, has lived the name and fame of Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 Years” Mee tare cod epee aan ‘own, ‘The preferred whiskey of gentlemen for over a century. wo malta art eo A. OVERHOLT & CO. Praaburgh, Pa. does not come intelligently of it- self, nor correctly from ordi- nary everyday sources. SEXOLOGY Uihustrated) ling, A. M., M. D., imparts in a clear whole Man Should Ht ledge a Mi Knowledge Young Woman Should Have. Knowledge a Young Wife Should Have. Knowledge e Mother Should H: Knowledge « M Medical Rnow! wi All in One Volume. Illustrated, Write for “Other People's Opinion PURITAN PUB. CO., 792 Pe: Best grade cedar canoe for*20 Detroit canoes can’t sink Gem AND BRILLIANCY "1 whi) PARISIAN GEM CO., Dept. 5, 621 Broadway, New York ROMEIKE’ Press Cutting Bureau will ser w you which may a any subject on which you may to di Every newspaper and periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is seare Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices, HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Avenue, New York. Stories Old Stuff If I go to see the play, Of the story I am certain; Promptly it gets under way With the lifting of the curtain. Builded all that’s said and done On the ancient recipe— 'Tis the same old Two in One: A and B in love with C. If I read the latest book, There’s the mossy situation; One may confidently look For the trite triangulation. Old as time, but ever new, Seemingly this tale of Three— Same old yarn of One ard Two: A and C in love with B. If I cast my eyes around, Far and near and middle distance, Still the formula is found In our every-day existence. Everywhere I look I see— Fact or fiction, life or play— Still the little game of Three: Band C in love with A. While the ancient law fulfills, Myriad moons shall wane and wax. Jack must have his pair of Jills, Jill must have her pair of Jacks. —Chicago Tribune. Nothing Serious—Clarence H. Mackay, apropos of an international marriage of the purely mercenary sort, said, “This reminds me of a Duluth girl who wedded a marquis. ‘Alphonse,’ the girl asked one even- ing, ‘why have you been so strange and cold of late?’ “The marquis scowled and said, “**Didn’t you tell me last week that your father was failing?’ “**Yes—physically failing,’ she replied. “**Oh!’ said the marquis, and his look brightened. He heaved a sigh of relief. ‘Oh,’ said he, ‘that’s all right, then! I thought it was something serious.’ ''— St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Everybody Happy—A wealthy young woman from out West was recently wedded to a member of the nobility of England, and the ceremony occurred in the most fashionable of London churches —St. George's, Hanover Square. Among the guests was a cousin of the bride, as sturdy an American as can be imagined. He gave an interesting sum- mary of the wedding when asked by a friend whether the marriage was a happy one. “Happy? I should say it was!’’ said the cousin. ‘The bride was happy, the mother was overjoyed, Lord Stickleigh, the groom, was in ecstasies, and his cred- itors, I understand, were in a state of absolute bliss.’’—Lippincott’s Magazine. Needless Alarm—An old German farmer entered the office of a wholesale druggist one morning and addressed the proprietor. Mister Becker, I haf der schmall “Merciful heavens, Mr. Jacobs,’’ ex- claimed Becker, as the office force scram- bled over each other in their hurry to get out, ‘don’t come any nearer!’’ With Smiles “‘Vot's der madder mit you fellers, anyhow?" quietly replied. Jacobs, “{ say I haf der schmall pox of butter out in mine wagon vot der Mrs. Becker ortered las’ week alreaty.’’—National Food Maga. zine. Why She Wouldn't Pay—‘‘ You'll have to pay for that little boy,’’ said the con- ductor on a Michigan Central train the other day. “T guess not,’’ said the lady firmly, “Have you never had to buy a ticket for him?’ “No, I have not, and I will not begin now.”” “You will have to pay his fare this time.” “No, I shall not pay is settled, Mr. Conducto: “If you don’t pay his fare I cannot let him occupy a seat. I will stop the train and put him off."” “Stop the train and put him off if you like. He's not my little boy. I never saw him before.'’—Detroit News. What a Hen Is Worth—The hen can’t plow, hoe corn or split wood, but she gets there just the same. She doesn’t cost more than a drink of whiskey and a plug of tobacco, but she can earn eight per cent. interest on $25 in a year and pay her board besides. The fellow who doesn't think she can earn more money than a grocery-store loafer doesn’t know much about her. Take an old speckled hen that has no raising at all, one which has been thrown out of acorn crib, kicked off a porch, and chased out of the garden by a worthless pup; just take that sort of a hen, She will pay expenses and make fifty-two per cent. a year, and that is more than can be said about a lot of cracker-barrel states- men in this country, who will not stoop to do anything short of running the gov- ernment.—Downs (Kan.) News. Sounded Familiar—Fred C. Kelly, the humorist, visited his old home in Ohio not long ago. While there he chartered a hack and drove around to see if the town had changed. The driver was a negro who had played with Mr. Kelly when both were children, “And who lives there?’’ asked Mr. Kelly, pointing to a small blue house. “Dass where my sister and brother-in- law live, suh,’’ said his driver. ‘*Yass, suh, Mandy she marry a mighty fine man.” Mr. Kelly thought he should exhibit interest. Maybe I know him,"’ said he. ‘What's his name?”” The driver scratched his head. “Now,"’ said he, ‘pears like I heered that nigger’s name somewhere !""—Pitts- burgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Why He Bought It—A grocer was guilty of some rather sharp practice on a cus- tomer, and the latter stamped out of the store, roaring, “You're a swindler, and I'll never en- ter your doors again!'" Next day, though, he came back and bought five pounds of sugar. “Dear me,’’ said the grocer, smiling In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com