Judge — June 14, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CITING A CASE Mom—There, there, Bobby! big men never cry Bobby—Well, p-pop did last night when you made him peel the onions. For Sweet Girl Graduates Some Commencement Suggestions HANDSOME gown, suitable for a young girl to wear while delivering her commencement address on the subject of The Influence of Bernard Shaw upon the Philosophy of the Ancient Fijis, can be made of Dutch blue mousseline de soie, combined with chiffon and an inexpensive taffeta in delicate pinks, shirred down the back and caught up with curtain cord into chic little nesselrode rosettes at the corners. In choosing your gown for the delivery of your valedictory address, be careful to hold it strictly in keeping with the pre- vailing feeling of the moment, which is one of sadness rather than of joy. A flamingo-red panne-velvet surtout, with navy-blue lapels and iridescent glass but- tons, with little brass bands running about the hobble, hardly suggests the solemnity of the moment, and should, therefore, be rigorously avoided. Should it so happen that the subject matter of your oration has to do with The Abolitionist Movement from the Begin- ning to Buchanan, the most appropriate material for your costume on the com- mencement stage will be a soft brown peau de chine, the skirt accordion pleated, stitched flat at the upper part, but grad- ually flaring at the base, covered with a diaphanous chocolate chiffon, caught up into lambrequin draping with slender, gunmetal chains, the whole trim- med with a black satin border not less than two inches in width. If, through some mis- understanding with your shoemaker, your com- mencement day shoes come home too late for your little brother to break in, and they, therefore, give forth a most annoying squeak every time you step in one direction or another, the embarrassment of the situation may be overcome by your mak- ing a private arrange- ment with the leader of the orchestra to play a fortissimo Sousa March while you walk forward to greet your audience, preparatory to address- ing them on The Sarto- rial Barbarities of the Chinese Empire. As a rule, young graduates wearing floral decorations on their gowns while delivering their com- mencement addresses are somewhat care- less as to the fitness of their selections. Of course, all flowers are apt to be be- coming; but an additional effectiveness can be secured by observing a nicety of relation between the flowers worn and the subject of the address to be delivered. We venture, therefore, to suggest the fol- lowing combinations of flower and sub- ject, which may not come amiss to a 1613 young girl too busy with the making of her gown to think of anything else: Should We Continue To Urge Reciprocity with Canada?..... Tube roses Aaron Burr, Democrat or Imperialist?.... Chestnut leaves Is Tammany Hall a Chronic or a Spo- radie Disorder? ... Tiger lilies The Mission of Woman. Marigold The Net Result of Puri- tanism........... Pie plant Poets of the Period and Their Poetry...... Sweet peas Woman’s Sphere . Cosmos On Certain Journalistic Tendencies........ Dandelions The Ruling Spirit of the Agescanaweses Goldenrod The Progressive Move- ment............. Green violets What of the Future?... Bachelor buttons The Modern Girl ...... Daisies The Modern Girl With penciled eyebrows, carmined lips, Powder and rouge upon her face, With waist line nowhere near the hips, And hobble skirt to ‘‘set the pace’’— This is the modern girl, whose ‘‘making’’ Comes ‘neath the head of ‘‘nature fak- ing’! Clarence BM. Lindsay, The Pith of Experience Funny how the dear old gentleman who just has to pat a child on the head un- erringly picks out the one with the pretty mother. Beauty used to be skin deep. Now they are adding a layer of kalsomine. Almost any boob could grasp an oppor- tunity if a set of printed directions went with it. 1913 THREE HUNDRED YEARS OF PROGRESS comicbooks.com