Judge, 1913-06-14 · page 7 of 24
Judge — June 14, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a domestic comedy story mocking male jealousy and paranoia. Peter Bingley, furious after someone answers his wife's phone while he's supposedly out of town, rushes home with a revolver, convinced she's entertaining a lover. His wife calmly denies the accusation, but then admits she *did* entertain a man that morning—her father, whom she's "always loved." The joke: Bingley's violent jealousy evaporates instantly upon learning the "other man" was merely her father. He sheepishly gives her money for a hat and asks her not to mention "this little affair" to anyone—suggesting his absurd overreaction embarrasses him. The satire targets masculine insecurity and the era's anxieties about wives' independence when husbands traveled. The story ridicules how quickly male rage dissolves when confronted with innocent explanations, while also implying men's desire to control women's social interactions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
entertained other men when he was away from home. He petted this idea until it loomed up before him like a shocking = truth; and the more he thought about it, the madder he grew. Feeling as though he could fight a whole army, he opened his grip and took out a re- volver and placed it in his pocket. “There, Mrs. Bingley,”’ he said, ‘I'll settle with you as soon as I get home!’’ He left the place at once and started for home, growing madder as he went. “Why, Peter,’ cried his wife, as Bing- ley entered the house, ‘‘what is the mat- ter? I thought you miles away by this time.” Bingley rubbed his hands together and glared at his wife. “Ah, I suppose you did, Mrs. Bingley! But I am not miles away. I'm right here. I'm here to avenge the wrongs you have done toa kind and loving husband! But I'll settle with your charmer first, and then you.’* Bingley pulled the revolver out of his pocket. “Where is he?’’ he asked. “Peter!'’ cried his wife, in excitement. ‘‘Are you mad? What ails you? Put that gun away and tell me what the trouble r “Where is he?) Where he?" “‘Where is who, Peter “The man."" “‘What man? Come, dear, calm yourself! I'll get dinner for you right away. You are excited about something. Tell me what it is."" “Mrs. Bingley, I want no more of your cooking. I have discovered your deceitfulness, You thought I was out of town and you could entertain other men while I was away. But, mark you, Mrs. Bingley, you can’t act that way with me! I'll have revenge! Ah, revenge shall be mine!’’ ‘Peter, what in the world is the matter with you? It is outrageous for you to even suggest that I entertain other men when you are away. I’ve always been a dutiful and loving wife to you, Peter, and I can’t understand why you should go on like this.”’ “Isn't there a man here?” he asked rather sharply. None but yourself, Peter."” Are you speaking the truth?’’ I swear it."" “Well, there was one here a short time ago. Can you deny that?"" “How do you know?”” a “Because, when I tele- phoned, a man answered me. He even had the nerve to call me a mis- shapen goril- la!’ said Bing- ley, with a grin. Mrs. Bing- "ee —~| ley broke out laughing. “I under- COMPLIMENTARY stand it all “« Willie, this is the third time I have spoken to you."” now,’’ she said. es, 'm, keep it up. I love the sound of your voice."” “Yes, I will PICTURE OF A SPRING-FEVER GERM Daintily she has tripped along Thro’ all the sunlit ages ; Thro’ scripture, picture, toast and song, Thro’ myriad printed pages ; Yet ever takes men by surprise, And makes them di their very eyes. admit there has been another man here. He came soon after you left this morning. He is a man whom I knew long before I did you, Peter. We have always loved each other’’. “What!” cried Bingley; but his wife continued, “Yes, we have always loved each other, and when he came this morning I did entertain him as best I could, Then I left him in care of the house while I stepped in to see Mrs. Jones, who is sick, When I came back, he laughed and said some fool had been talking to him over the ‘phone. It was father!’’ « Bingley’s anger was swept clean aw: He laid down the revolver and took out some bills. “My dear,"’ he said sheepishly, ‘‘here is twenty-five dollars. You need a new hat or something. Take it for yourself.’” “Oh, Peter, I'’—— “That’s all right, dear; but I wouldn’t mention this little affair to any one.’’ And Mrs. Bingley didn’t. Serials Silas Haycock was standing in front of amodern skyscraper. “Land sakes!’* he snickered. ‘*Thar’s some of them continued stories I’ve heeard so much erbout."’ A Revised Version Lives of yeggmen yet remind us We can use the cops in rhyme, And, departing, leave behind us Thumbprints in the books of crime. comicbooks.com