Judge, 1913-06-14 · page 14 of 24
Judge — June 14, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon satirizes men who attend costume balls in regular evening clothes, claiming costumes make them look foolish—thereby missing the point of the event entirely. Below are several humorous pieces: **"The Prudent Farmer"** mocks rustic suitors by presenting an ungainly marriage proposal emphasizing domestic drudgery (cooking stoves, darning socks, damaged corn) rather than romance—a parody of courtly love poetry. **"Explained"** jokes about a Louisiana planter and Civil War veteran so profane that his new wife mistakes his cursing at a Black tenant for marital discord; the tenant politely clarifies it's just the captain's natural speech. **"Land"** appears to satirize Japanese territorial ambitions (likely early 1900s), suggesting Americans would eagerly sell land to Japan rather than fight—mocking American commercialism and cowardice. The remaining pieces are brief satirical vignettes on urban life, gambling, and social behavior, typical of Judge's light humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THOSE COSTUME DANCES The man who attends in evening clothes because, he says, he “looks like a fool in costume.” The Prudent Farmer to His Love COME, live with me and be my love, And I'll buy thee a new cook stove; Then, summer, autumn, winter, spring, You'll hear your own tea kettle sing. I'll buy thee, too, a chair that rocks, Where you may sit and darn my socks; And as your needle fills each hole, A deep content shall fill your soul That it is you who sit there rocking, And no one else may darn my stocking. A mattress made of shucks and hi Shall rest you at the close of da: A clock with loud alarm shall warn Your sleepy head when night is gone. I'll buy thee, too, a muslin gown, To wear some Sundays into town. I'll give you damaged corn to feed The chickens, and if you succeed Well with the eggs and fowls and milk, I'll give you somewhat toward a silk. If all these promised joys can move, Come, live with me and be my love. Mt. M. Len Explained Down in the Red River valley section of Louisiana there is a planter, a veteran of the Civil War, who is noted for his profane vocabulary. Not long since, he married, and every- thing sailed along nicely for a few days. But the captain was called out early one morning by a negro tenant, who wanted to see him on business. As soon as the cap- tain saw the darky, he began to curse him. His young wife, hearing the violent language, stuck her head out of the win- dow and asked, ‘‘Is that you, dear?"’ Before the captain could answer, the darky said apologetically, ‘‘No, ma‘am; dat’s Cap'n Johnson."” Very Hard Cash An Englishman should never be afraid of thu the more money he has in his possession the more pounds he can give. Land THE JAPS ery, ‘Sell us land, or fight! We'll land an army on your strand!" God wot! A million New York gents Will fight to sell 'em land! Throw in a grand piano, too, And let 'em hear a band. Play choice selections, on the spot, And give 'em the glad hand, And trolley tickets, there and back, If all they want is sand!—c. a4. wer Second Nature Crawford—New York is dancing mad! Crabshaw—No wonder. Whenever we ride in a public conveyance, we are told to “Step lively.” A Hard Loser “‘What ever became of that woman who was married on a bet?’ “She is now giving her time to a cru- sade against gambling.’’ comicbooks.com