Judge — June 7, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Whittier Inn Sea Gate New York Harbor An Ideal Hotel Home for Summer—Open from May to November private park Rooms with private bath and porch. Rooms are available in nearby sto those who prefer them, se 1 privileges of the Inn being the ec cottag (including Hotel y be leased for the seaso Private boat service to and from New York City. Also frequent train service to Brooklyn. Telephone Garage A Delightful Place — Just 45 Minutes by Private Boat from New York Rates and Booklet Upon Application HOTEL ST. DENIS Broadway and I ith Street, New York City Home Comforts Without Extravagance el has been ten Wahin easy access o Wanamaker’. Five minutes* The very best accommodations in the city at $1.00 Per Day Up 7 Minutes from Grand Central Depot 10 Minutes to leading stores and theatres ST. DENIS HOTEL CO. Also STANWIX HALL MOTEL, ALBA’ EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway NEW YORK EUROPEAN PLAN QA Step from Broadway. Absolutely Fireproof. q Quiet as a Village at Night. Q Your Comfort Our Aim Always. Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, one person, $2.50; two people, $3.50. Why ply mote when our service is equalled only y the best ? SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 — W. WARFIELD, Manager ———} ° Passing the Mustard Exasperating My shirt stud may slip from my fingers And under the bureau may roll, But I don’t fret and fume, As I grope with a broom, For my temper is under control. And I'aim to be patient whenever My collar hangs onto my tie, But my speech is not neat When a grapefruit I eat And the juice of it squirts in my eye. —Edgar A. Guest, in Detroit Free Press. I may slip on the skin of an orange And alight in a puddle of mud, But I do not complain Of the ache or the pain That is caused by the sickening thud. I can cling to my patience while hea: A joke that has moss on it sprung, But I utter a whoop That is wild when the soup Is so hot that it scorches my tongue. —Sam Kiser, in Chicago Record-Hcrald. I may kick if the water’s not hotter, I may wish that the towels were dry; I make a quick lunge For my three-dollar sponge— It’s gone, but I don’t start a cry. I can skate like a dream on the rollers, On the ice you can bet I’m no dope; But it fills me with wrath When I step from my bath And glide on a piece of hard soap. —Yonkers Statesman. I take things as they come when I travel, And over spilt milk never cry; And I don’t care a rap If I hang by a strap Or get something harsh in my eye. They may crowd me, indeed, to the plat+ form— I can stand little troubles like that— But I let out a yell And just yank the bell When the wind gets away with my hat. Not Much—‘'I hear Brown's been pro- moted again. “Yes,’" “That's splendid! He must be quite an important member of the concern now.”” “Oh, I guess not. The office boy still calls him by his first name.’'—Detroit Free Press, Can’t, Eh?—‘*‘Our product is thoroughly tested before leaving the factory. No man can sell stuff to-day that has not been tested.”’ “*We manage to sell our product with- out testing i “That's odd. What do you sell?”" “Dynamite.""— Washington Herald. VARICOSE VEINS, ®“2,15¢5. Send for This Interesting &\ and Instructive Book on TRAVEL It is Entirely FREE We expect a greater de- mand for this 40 page, illus- trated booklet on travel, than has ever been known for any other ever published for free distribution. Mothersill’s Travel Book tells you what to take on a jour- ney and what not to take—how to pack and how to best care for your baggage and gives exact information as to checking facilities, weights, etc., in foreign countries—gives tables of money values—distances from New York—tells when, who and how much, to “tip.” In fact this booklet will be found invaluable to all who travel or are contemplating taking a trip in this country or abroad, Published by the proprietors of the famous Mothersill’s Seasick Remedy as a practical hand book for travelers. This edition is limited so we suggest that you send your name and address at once, and receive a copy. (A postal will bring it) Please address our Detroit office for this booklet. MOTHERSILL REMEDY CO. 404 Henry Smith Bldg., Detroit, Mich. Also at 19 St. Bride Street, London, England. ranches in Montreal, New York, Paria, Milan and Hamburg. HOTEL ARLINGTON 18-20 WEST 25th STREET Just off Broadway and Madison Square NEW YORK ‘Twelve-story fireproof building—handsomely furnished mms—modern in all respects. In the centre of the shopping and theatrical sections, Booklet. RATES, $1.00 PER DAY UP E. W. AUSTIN, Mer. V. A. AUSTIN, Prop. OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST 1,000 Island House ALEXANDRIA BAY Jefferson County New York FOR_g MEN IN THE HEART OF THE THOUSAND ISLANDS where nature's charms are rarest, all the delights of modem civilization are added in the 1,000 Island House. No hotel of the Metropolis provides greater living facilities or such luxurious comfort— real HOME comfort —as does this pal | Summer retreat. An amusement for every hour, or quiet, complete rest, is the choice of every guest. All Drinking Water Used in the House is Filtered Send two 2-cent stamps for Illustrated Booklet. 0.G.STAPLES, Proprietor I the most enchanting spot in all America, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com