Judge, 1913-05-31 · page 23 of 24
Judge — May 31, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, featuring hotel and business advertisements with minimal editorial cartoon content. The page includes: **Main Advertisement Content:** - Multiple hotel ads (The Whittier Inn, Hotel Grenoble, Hotel Arlington, Hotel St. Denis) targeting affluent leisure travelers - A "Paper Warehouse" business ad - A correspondence course ad for aspiring cartoonists **Editorial Poetry:** The page contains two satirical poems: 1. **"Assimilated"** - A humorous lament about a romantic man serially jilted by women named Eunice, Elsa, Esther, and Helen throughout the seasons. The joke is his predictable pattern of emotional vulnerability. 2. **"December and May"** - A satirical dialogue between an aging man and a younger woman. The satire is transparent: she explicitly states she prefers his money to genuine affection, while he romanticizes their age difference. The poem mocks both his self-deception and her mercenary motivations. Both poems target romantic delusions—his naïveté and her materialism—reflecting early 20th-century social commentary on relationships and class.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Whittier Inn Sea Gate New York Harbor An Ideal Hotel Home for Summer—Open from May to November The Inn is situated in he loc private park cottage com- Rooms with private bath and porch Rooms are available in nearby cot tages to those who prefer them, ser nd privileges of the Inn being the tire cottages (including Hotel Service) may be leased for the season. A clean, broad beach with ample bathing facilities. ais, baseball, rowing and sailing. e boat service to and from k City. Also frequent train Brooklyn. Telephone A Delightful Place — Just 45 Minutes by Private Boat from New York Rates and Booklet Upon Garage Application HOTEL GRENOBLE OPPOSITE CARNEGIE HALL S6th Street and 7th Avenue NEW YORK CITY OCATED within two blocks of beautiful Central district, this exclusive family and transient hotel offers more in real living and ice than many hotels There is no more iieal stopping piece for ladies travel- Room wit Use ov Batu, $1 per day and up. Room with Private Batu, $1.50 per day and up. AranTMents of Panton. Beproom and ParvaTe Batu, $3 per day and up. GEO. W. O'HARE, Mer HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE jeecker Street ot MADE TO ORDER HOTEL ARLINGTON 18-20 WEST 28th STREET Just off Broadway and Madison Square NEW YORK Twelve-story fireproof building—handsomely furnished Rooms—modern in all respects, In the centre of the shopping and theatrical sections, Booklet. RATES, $1.00 PER DAY UP E,W. AUSTIN, Mer. V. A. AUSTIN, Prone Be An Artist. Make Money Drawing comic pictures. Let the world’s famous car- Eugene Zimmerman, spill a few Get the Zim Book Price Satis- toonist, ideas into your head it’s chuck full of valuable suggestions, $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Mor faction guaranteed. Money back if book returned within 10 days. Address: ZIM BOOK, Room No. 1149, Brunswick Bldg., New York Assimilated All Round the Year Eunice whiled away the spring Teaching me the game of love; Doleful is the song I sing— Eunice proved a fickle thing As the April skies above. Elsa in the summertime Drew me till my spirit burned And my pulses beat in rhyme With the malady sublime— But her former flame returned. From its pain my wounded heart In the autumn Esther coaxed, Then upset love’s apple cart— Flirting was her dearest art. Ah, but I was sadly hoaxed! Helen, of the passing year, Could not like the others be; Yes, I thought,with not a fear, Surely she must be sincere— But she now has jilted me. Do not chide me if I sigh, For my heart has sorely bled. Who can woman's wiles defy? Truly, ‘tis a shame that I Am so easily miss-led. —New York Globe. December and May HE Iam old enough, they'll say, to be your daddy; Ihave ceased to be a silly, slender youth. But within me beats the fond heart of a lady ; I've the spirit of an eager boy, in truth. The locks that once adorned me have de- parted, My step may have become a trifle slow; But I'm just as full of love as when I started To use a razor, thirty years ago. If my, wild oats are all sprinkled And my brow a little wrinkled, Young affection in my breast is still aglow. SHE Though you may be old enough to be my father, E never shall be grieved by what they say. I do not want a young man’s love; I'd rather Be petted by an old man any day. You have become a trifle bald and stoutish, Your sight may be affected more or less; It may be that you are a little goutish, Your step has lost its youthful springi- ness, Your wrinkles are appearing And you'll soon be hard of bearing, But your money makes ‘you worth a chance, I guess, eS. E. Kiser, in Chicago Record- ‘Herald. _. How It Began—Adam—They . tell’ me we will have to move out of the garden, Eve—My goodness, and I haven't a thing tp wear!—Boston Record. A Distinction—Maud—No man is indis- pensable. Jean—But some man is. —New York Sun. Try One of Our Dry Varieties ‘Martini—Regular Martini. (mediam) a Masbatao™ Rexel 2 At pees = G.F.Heublein & Bro. Sole Prop’s. Hartford” New York Londen * Spare Time! It you have time for sale we will buy it! “We pay big money ‘American Dollare—and back our agents to the limit. Write at once for the greatest offer ever made by any tailoring concern on earth. A DAY $5 to $1 EASY While Boing Other Work PROGRESS TAILORING CO., HOTEL ST. DENIS Broadway and 1ith-St., N. Y. City Home Comtorts Without Extravagance This famous hotel has been renovated. redecorated, refurnished, and many modern, up to date appoint: ments have been installed, and can be compared fav- orably with any in the city. ‘The only first-class hotel near all steamship lines Within easy access of every point of interest. Half block from Wanamaker's. Five minutes’ walk of Shopping District, NOTED FOR—Excellence of cuisine, comfortable appointments, courteous service and homelike surroundings © $1.00 Per. Day Up 7 Minutes trom Grand Central Depot. 10 Minutes to leading stores and theatres ST. DENIS HOTEL CO. Also STANWIX HALL HOTEL, ALBANY, N. Y. “In answering advertisements plcase mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com Dept. 61 cx cuicaco