Judge — May 31, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Etiquette for All N’T overstep the borders of propri- ety. Keep to the common or gar- den walk. Handle a man..of ..soiled..reputation without gloves. = * When addressing ladies, remove your hat, but keep your hair on. Treat every one squarely, don’t contra- dict flatly, nor tell a man roundly that he lies. eee wT * Courtesy doésniét demand that you give your country seat to a lady. Don’t criticise your wife’s bathing dress. Remember there’s never much about it to find fault with. Wandering thoughts may properly ac- company travelers’ tales. When you have to cook up an excuse, don’t mince your words, or you'll make a hash of it. If saddled with a gray mare, bridle your tongue, curb your impatience, and don’t let your temper run away with you. Budding orators should prune their pe- tiods and not blossom into flowery lan- guage. Don't bow to necessity, or it may think you wish to make its acquaintance. In dancing attendance on a lady, the turkey trot is now preferred to the min- vet, which is considered old-fashioned. Ge. B. Morrwees. The Logical Deduction We are told that in heaven all matches are made; Still, heaven seems them to disparage, For it certainly very distinctly is said That there there's no giving in mar- riage! From which the deduction plainly is this: pont marriage would ruffle the heavenly liss ! Scrapple There’s a place for everything, but the trouble is most of us cannot find the place. The door of adversity is never locked. It isn’t our poverty that makes us dis- contented, but the riches of our neighbors. Love makes one ideal husband; fear makes a thousand. There are no conventionalities in pri- vate, Alimony is the battle cry of freedom. Political Cosmetics “Great Scott, Jonesey,”’ said Wilkins, “that's a hefty bundle of papers you've got there! All campaign literature, 1 see,"” “Yes,"" said Jonesey. of political cosmetics for my wife. “Political cosmetics?” cried Wilkins. “Yep,’’ said Jonesey. ‘‘She’s in doubt as to her political complexion, and this stuff will help her to make up her mind.” The Modern Method Maud—It's a paradox, isn’t it? Edith—What? Maud—That the woman of position dances like a climber. “It’s a bundle Anheuser-Busch Will Buy This Barley Only the pick of America’s Barley peti and Bo i 7 Ssaer Hops are good enough from which to brew and age Budweiser Beverage America’s National ‘The uniform flavor, quality and purity of Budweiser remains always the same because Botched only at the home ess ook Anheuser-Basch Brewery ‘St. Louis AGENTS SALESMAN MANAGERS YOUNG OR OLD tw BUSINESS ROP DEAD ONES. eo THe Get started in an honest, clean, reliable, business, The Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massage Machize Cost to Operate, Last Time S JUST AW 20th CENTURY WONDER AGENTS GENERAL AGENTS ROAD MEN MAKE MONEY HERE nent, money-making. , | START NOW—TODAY ‘Sold on a mon guarantee Life. New Ficld, New Business. Itaeney to sell, end Retores Ulackbeads, Pim In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com