Judge, 1913-05-31 · page 16 of 24
Judge — May 31, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story mocks rural ignorance of urban banking systems. A country farmer, Dwiggins, receives a check from a merchant and is directed to "the First National Bank." He returns confused because he went to the "Second National Bank" instead—reasoning that since it was the first bank he encountered, it must be the first one, not understanding that banks have distinct names rather than sequential numbering. The humor lies in the farmer's literal-minded logic clashing with city conventions. The merchant's anger dissolves into laughter at the farmer's innocent misunderstanding and good-natured acceptance of his mistake. This reflects early-20th-century Judge magazine's common theme: satirizing rural Americans as unsophisticated when confronted with urban institutions and practices, playing on stereotypes of country folk as simple but ultimately endearing.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE VILLAGE SPORT “It's three to one she wears tights."” game is a pleasant and easy one for per- sons of all ages, its most successful fol- lowers are widows possessed either of large wealth or exceeding great pulchri- tude, or little blond ladies with flashing eyes, roguish smiles and manners so naive as to destroy all suspicion of sophistica- tion. Either of these classes of fishers can land a mess of compliments in the course of an evening spent in a shadowy corner of any old conservatory that will make a ton of whitebait look like a soli- tary sardine stranded in the center of the Desert of Sahara. Degrees MAN was very much surprised one day to see an old friend riding around in a motor car, for he had said he would never buy one, as his wife was afraid of them. “How did you manage to convince your wife that automobiling wasn’t danger- ous?"’ he asked. “I didn’t convince her,’’ replied his friend; ‘‘but she gave in at last when I proved to her by statistics that it wasn’t half as dangerous as dodging them.’’ Willing to Chance It «‘Kissing is thought by some to be Unhealthy exercise,” he. “*Yes,’’ she replied; ‘‘but, then, who knows? There's risk in all things, I suppose.”” Eugene C. Dalnn, Going to the Bank ANKS are not so prevalent in rural districts that every countryman knows their details. It was so with young Dwiggins when he came into the city to collect a bill and spend some of it on see- ing the sights. He went to the merchant who owed him fifty dollars and was handed acheck for the amount, payable to bearer. “There,” said the merchant, a kindly man, ‘‘take that right down this street to the First National Bank and you will get the money. Take this card along if they want further identification.”’ The merchant gave him the firm's card, with his own signature on it, and the young man went out. Five minutes later he was back again. he said, in bad humor. merchant. ‘‘This is the Second Nation- al Bank.”” The farmer began to grin. “Si "he said apologetically, ‘‘that was my mistake. You said for me to go to the first national bank, and this is the first one I come to. I noticed it was marked Second, but I didn’t see how it could be second till I got to the first. I guess I've learned the ropes now, and you needn’t go any further with me." Then the merchant forgot all about being angry, and the farmer left him laughing in the street. William J. Lampion A True Acrostic Jovial bits of jollity, Useful notions hinted, Doses of frivolity Given us unstinted Every week it’s pri: Didn't Know When To Stop “The great men are all dead,’’ she said, with evident regret. “But the beautiful women are not,"’ he replied, looking earnestly at her. “Of course,’ she added, after a mo- ment’s reflection, ‘‘I always except pres- ent company.”” “*So do I," he said. Then she asked if he would be good enough to conduct her to her husband. Wanted If some bright genius only would Invent a brand-new story For married men who stay out late, He'd pave his way to glory. More Ways than One Crawford—You can't throw dust in that fellow’s eyes. Crabshaw—Then why don’t you pull the wool over them? (=<) 0 prague @ i #0, © i o, “They won't give it to me,"" bef > > ey Qo? me Ny note” inquired the Ty O V? O Uy Oo. “They said you didn’t have any money there.”” The merchant was hot in a minute. “Come with me,’’ he said, snatching up his hat. “I'll show them!"" They started out, and in the same block the farmer stopped the merchant. “This is the place,’’ he said. “No, it isn’t!’ snapped the fore ERITH <2 EMPTY WORDS whe eo bie CS comicbooks.com