Judge — May 31, 1913 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Complete Sportsman A Compendium of Information ‘for Gentle Nimrods Fishing for Compliments A PLEASANT diversion for the young, old or middle-aged man or woman is that popular sport known as Fishing for Compliments. The sport may be pursued in almost any quiet waters, social or otherwise, and at any season of the year, though not in troubled waters, and pref- erably not in icy latitudes. A chilly at- mosphere does not conduce to activity in compliments, and the angler, however skillfully he may fish for them, is not likely to get even su little as a nibble, though it is undoubtedly true that if he does land one successfully, even a small one, under frigid conditions, the triumph is all the greater. The fisher for compliments should al- ways be prepared for unwelcome sur- prises and be able to bear disappointment with untroubled mien, for in this, as well as in other kinds of fishing, there are strange catches to be reckoned with and unlooked-for snags to be struck under the most smiling waters. Just as the fisher for flatfish eagerly hauls in his weighty line now and then, in full expectation of finding a three-pounder hooked to the end thereof, to be confronted by a cast-off lard pail or the skeleton form of aretired hoop skirt, long since consigned to the depths, so does the fisher for compliments often receive as the reward of a most graceful cast, instead of a compliment, a retort satirical that requires all his Ches- terfieldian instincts to carry off with BUSINESS VERSUS BASEBALL ‘The effect one run bas upon two business rivals, who, owing to the crowd, were forced to sit together, aplomb, For instance, if you are fishing for a compliment on the quality of your game of bridge, of which you are quite proud, the bait for your hook is a casual remark to the young lady you happen to be talking to at the moment: “I don’t know what is the matter with WORSE THAN DOUBLING IN BRASS Leader—Otto, you must blay dose liddle notes pecause der piccolo is sick. my game lately. I've been playing like a bally idiot.” The catch you are angling for, of course, is: “Oh, Mr. Squidge, how can you say such a thing? I think your game of bridge is positively brilliant !’’ But if, when you have said that you play like a bally idiot, she replies, ‘‘So everybody says,’’ then comes the test of your good sportsmanship, the point of the game being to rejoice in your catch if you land what you are after, but to maintain absolute composure in case you land a mere bit of unwelcome candor. What the submerged tin can is to the fisher in the mill pond, so is unwelcome candor to the fisher for compliments. Indeed, it may be that, as a modern humorist might say, here is where the can in candor comes in. A few good rules for compliment fish- ing are always to fish with a smiling face, to avoid humiliating possibilities by do- ing it in a corner with only one other person present, to lead up to it easily and without any outward indication that you are fishing at all, and, finally, never to undertake it under any circumstances whatever in the presence of a person re- nowned for ironic wit. While, as we have already said, the comicbooks.com