Judge — May 24, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

[SS COS BS ED | De ee Soap eeewe \ — Garnered Homespun Gossip Gabe Tootz sez: Lafe Shook sez if there was more bite and less bark to so- called under dogs, the sympathy we're always holding out to under dogs wold be a heap more genuine, To most of the talkin’ nobody don’t lis- ten and never did listen and never will listen. The feller what ain’t no good hisself spends most of his time snooping around among the boys telling 'em what a tough something he’s got for a boss, When you advertise for a competent man, everybody answers except the com- petent fellers, what all has steady jobs. There ain’t nothin’ ever been invented yet that first didn’t have to get by the fellers what shook their heads and said it couldn’t be did. Most of the divorces is started by the neighbors. There ain't nothin’ writ about less than a June bridegroom.—St. Louis Republic. Why—Gink 1—Do you drink coffee? Gink Naw; I live at a boarding house.— Minnesota Minne-Ha-Ha. His Second Choice—In a haberdasher’s establishment a tall young man ap- proached a salesman and exclaimed, “Lemme see some of your best sus- penders."” “How do you like these?” the sales- man inquired, displaying a pair. ‘These are supposed to be the best.”’ “How much are they?”* The salesman named the price. “That’s entirely too much for me to the youth declared. But these are president suspenders.’’ “President suspenders ?"’ “Yea.” Taking another glance at the pair which the salesman held out for his inspection, the young man replied, “Lemme look at a pair of vice-president suspenders.""— Youngstown Telegram. The Modern Woman—Her ma—Do you smoke? He—No. Ma—Drink? He—Horrors! Ma—Swear? He—Heavens! Ma—Rag? He—Goodness! Ma—Then you are not a fit companion for my daughter and cannot marry her. (Moral—There is nothing moral about this.}—Stanford Chaparral. Excruciating—‘‘ Why the sad-eyed stuff, friend?”" “Recovering from a painful operation.” “Yeah. The M. D. just took ten bones out of my hand!""—Princeton Tiger. Confession—First co-ed—I kissed Bob last night? Second chicken—Is that right? First squab—No; but it’s so.—Cali- fornia Pelican. pAtterpoonful of Abbott's Bittera with your Grape {uit makes an ideal appetizing tonic. Sample of Cor Ba nel 2S cts, in stamps. C, W. Abbott & You | a “Beer acted upon by light soon takes up the very disagree- able so-called ‘light taste,’ and also a repulsive skunk-like odor.**¢ Beer so affected is offensive to the palate of most consumers, *** Beer should not be exposed to light, especially to direct sunlight, as it will thereby be detrimentally affected, the light having an influence upon the albuminoids in beer, causes the beer to become hazy.***” Extract from the “The Beer Bottlers’ Handy Book,” published by the Wahl-Henius Insti- tute of Fermentology. The Brown Bottle is not a fad. Its use by Schlitz is based on : | sciencific principles. The first Schlitz was brewed in a hut, over sixty yearsago. Now our agencies dot the earth. Our output exceeds a million barrels a year. Why don’t you make Schlitz your regular beer? It’s pure beer. ” x) See that crown or cork is branded *‘Schhtz.”” 38-M he Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous. _VARICO SE VEINS, "press re promptly reileved = th tne Penk Mabeolutely res beh tiredness and OTEL ALBERT Gisrase. Full particulars on receipt of team W. F. Young, P.D. F., 115 Temple St, Springfield, Mass. H 11TH STREET AND UNIVERSITY PLACE Be An Artist. Make Money Drawing NEW YORK CITY comic pictures. Let the world’s famous Close to Wholesale and Retail Dry Goods cartoonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill a Distrids, Mallresd and ‘Steamsnip Lines into your head. Get the Zim MODERN ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF chuck full of valuable sugges- 300 Rooms (200 with Bath) ions. Price $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Morocco. Satisfaction guaranteed. RATES $1.00 PER DAY UP Money back if book returned within 10 Excellent Eestearant and Cale days.” Address: LIM BOOK, Room No, 1149, Brunswick Bidg., New York Senter tree astretet Cte ote In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com