Judge — May 24, 1913 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hamburg-American Line Founded in 1847 Is the oldest German Trans- Atlantic steamship company. From a modest beginning, with four small sailing ves- sels, the Line to-day com- prises 178 ocean-going steam- ers, which, with other craft, makes a fleet of over 400 ves- sels, the largest sailing under one house flag. ‘These vessels have a combined tonnage of 1,306,819. The Line operates 70 serv- ices which call regularly at more than 300 ports in all parts of the world. A num- ber of joint services are main- tained with other lines, mak- ing a fleet of 625 vessels with a total of 2,227,772 tons. To this fleet will be added 21. new ocean steamers, in- cluding the S. S. Imperator and two sister ships, which will be the largest ships in the world. The Imperator will arrive at New York May 31—is 919 feet in length, 98 feet beam, 50,000 tons, and 72,000 horse power, and will average 22) knots. The Imperator has a double hull throughout and is equipped with all the newest safety devices, as well as the Frahm anti-rolling tanks, which makes her the steadiest boat afloat. The S. S. Vaterland, a sis- ter ship, which enters the Trans-Atlantic service in the spring of 1914, measures 950 feet in length, 100 feet in beam, and is of 55,000 tons burden. A third sister ship of similar dimensions is now building. Stories With Smiles Usual Result—Attorney W. H. Boyd can lose more umbrellas than any man in Cleveland. Time after time he blossoms forth, equipped with a highly ornate and exceedingly expensive umbrella, and by the time evening comes there is nothing left but a disgusted look. One rainy day last week Boyd appeared at a downtown cafe for his luncheon and sat at a table with James A. Newkirk, County Com- missioner Elrick and Martin Thumm. Boyd was desperately clutching a new umbrella. ‘This doesn’t belong to me,’’ he announced. ‘‘I borrowed it, and I don’t intend to lose it.”” “Tie it to the table leg,"” Thumm suggested. “Get the waiter to hold it for you,’’ Elrick volunteered. “Have ‘em put it in the safe,’” Newkirk advised. Boyd ignored them all. He placed the umbrella on the floor and planted both feet firmly upon it, to the hilarious delight of his friends. Then, when he finished his luncheon, he walked away and left it.— Cleveland News. Jimmy Wondered—They were speaking of how easy it is to raise a question of doubt in the human mind, the other afternoon, when Senator Thornton, of Louisiana, recalled the skepticism of little Jimmy. Little Jimmy, the Senator explained, was one of the gladsome youngsters in a Louisiana school. During the exercises recently the teacher told the school the story of the Roman who swam across the Tiber three times before breakfast. “Three times!"’ involuntarily said the wondering Jimmy. ‘‘Did you say three times, Miss Mary?’ “Why, yes, Jimmy," responded the teacher. ‘You don’t doubt that a trained swimmer could do it, do you?” “‘No, ma’am,’’ was the smiling reply of Jimmy. ‘‘I just won- dered why he didn’t make it four and get back to the side where he left his clothes.""—Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Obeyed Orders—Murphy was a new cavalry recruit and was given one of the worst horses in the troop. “*Remember,"’ said the sergeant, ‘‘no one is allowed to dismount without orders,’’ Murphy was no sooner in the saddle than the horse kicked and Murphy went over his head. “Murphy,’’ yelled the sergeant, when he discovered him lying brostpless on the ground, ‘‘you dismounted !"” “T did.’” “Did you have orders?” “Tdid."” “From headquarters?” “No, sor; from hindquarters.""—Ladies’ Home Journal. The Right Course—The late Edward Dowden was being discussed in Philadelphia. “‘Dowden’s style was ponderous and somber,’’ said a sonneteer, “bat I often met him in Dublin, and his talk, unlike his writing, sparkled with true Irish wit. “LT once told him of my many vain efforts to swear off, and of my resolve, none the less, to make another trial. “*Right!’ said Professor Dowden. ‘Right! Turn over a new leaf. You needn’t mention to any one the number of the page.’ ’’— Washington Star. Gladstone's Early Wit—Gladstone, when a boy, was visiting in the country and the farmer was showing him around. Coming to a field that contained a large, black bull, the farmer said, ‘‘There’s a fine, strong bull there, Master William, and it’s only two years old.”” “How do you tell it ?’’ queried the boy. “Why, by its horns, id the farmer. “‘By its horns?’’ Young Gladstone looked thoughtful a moment, then his face cleared. ‘‘Ah, I see! Two horns—two years.'’—Boston Transcript. The Unexpected—The office boy opened the door and looked in. “My grandmother’’—he began. “Bah !"" snorted the boss. “Has just died”"— “Wow !"” yelled the boss. “Has just died and left me a lot of money—and I've resigned. See?" And he softly closed the door.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. a tartance: Binates | sea level, Cone and up-t A de antomod comicbooks.com