Judge — April 26, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bs a~ a Stories with Smifes The Wonderful Baby— Everybody’s baby being the most wonderful kid ia the world, one can easily appreciate a story told a few days ago by Senator Paynter, of Kentucky. Aman named Jones and a man named Smith met on a street corner one after- noon, and, after talking politics, suffra- gettes and the high cost of living, the conversation turned to kids. “How about that baby of yours?” asked Jones. ‘‘Is he doing any talking yet?” “No,’’ replied Smith. ‘Outside of ‘Da, da,’ his vocabulary is not very ex- tensive. Can yours talk?” “Well, I should say so!’’ was the proud rejoinder of Jones. *‘Talks like a parrot. Has got his mother chirped to a stand- still. { suppose yours is able to walk?” “No,"" responded Smith, just a little sadly. ‘‘He hasn’t taken a step yet.’” “Not taken a step!’’ exclaimed Jones, with a life-size expression of amazement. “Why, he is a good bit older than mine, and mine is toddling all around!’" “I don’t doubt it,’’ peevishly responded Smith, who was getting a trifle wearied; “and by the way, Jones, does he use a safety razor or one of the old-fashioned kind?”"—Philadelphia Telegraph. His Occupation — Governor Carey, of Wyoming, while ona recent Eastern trip, was present at a social affair where a couple of the guests referred to court procedure and spoke of the exacting atti- tade of the lawyers in examining a wit- ness, One of the guests said he was inclined to think that some lawyers went the limit in the matter of questioning, and the Governor remarked that he was reminded of a case that had come under his ob- servation. Awitness in a particular case had been examined by the lawyer of the plaintiff, the Governor said, and was turned over tothe lawyer for the defense for cross- exami ion. “Now, then, Mr. Smith,’? began the legal one, ‘‘what did I understand you to say that your occupation is?” “Tama piano finisher," answered the witness, “Yes, I see,’’ persisted the lawyer; “bat you must be more definite. Do you Polish them or do you move them?"— Philadelphia Telegraph. Marvels of Creation — ‘‘A Scotch Preacher had been abroad, and when he ¢ame back he was preaching to his con- &regation on the marvels he had seen,’’ said the Rev. W. T. Dorward, Tabernacle Baptist Church, at a banquet the other night. “He wound up with this: ‘And the Same Creator Who made the vast ocean made the dewdrop. The same Creator Who made the mountain made the peb- ble. Yes, and that same Creator Who made me made a daisy !""—Milwaukee Journal, Without th Al at 'SKUNKY" Taste or Odor That offensive taste and odor in some beers is easily avoided. Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass gives the best protection against light. “While beer quickly deteriorates when It is exposed to direct sun- light, such deterioration, although greatly retarded, will event- ually take place in diffused light.* ** Beer exposed to the rays of the sun will very quickly acquire the so-called ‘skunk taste’.' Extract from Proceedings of the Second International Brewers’ Congress held in Chicago October 19-21, 1911. Vol. 1, page 300. We have adopted every invention, every idea that could make for purity. The Brown Bottle is only another step in Schlitz progress. Our beer was first brewed in a hut. Today our agencies dot the earth. Our output exceeds a million barrels a year. More and more people every year are drinking Schlitz. Why don’t you? See that crown or cork is branded “* Schlitz."” Huge Merriment For Delighted Readers Send at once for the 2 Popular Humourous Poems, ‘Ove called “The Taming of the Militant Suffragette!” (Or “Eva's Swishing!”) And the other “A Spanking Dream!” Both Poems (Illustrated) For 50 Cents Sam Field High Street, Stratford on Avon, England Georgian Terrace Hotel Atlanta’s new million dollar hotel, at Peachtree and nt cuisine. Without e, and only a few ‘a thousand feet above with a perfect clim: Conceded by all to be the most palatial, comfortable and up-to-date hotel in the entire south. lightful stopping off place for tourists, Fine automobile roads. Golf ALBERT R. KEEN, Manager In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com