Judge, 1913-04-19 · page 8 of 24
Judge — April 19, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **satirical commentary on advertising and social hypocrisy**, presented through several short pieces: **"Advertising" & "The Progressive Church"**: The main satire mocks how advertising infiltrates every medium. A church hires a tobacco-advertising copywriter to promote services, resulting in absurdly inappropriate language ("Roll out of the hay," "put the topic in your old jimmy pipe"). The joke: institutions adopting crass commercial tactics while claiming moral authority. **"I Wonder Why?"**: This piece highlights **gender double standards** in marriage age gaps. An older man marrying a young woman is "proper"; an older woman marrying a younger man provokes scandal ("Fie!"). The satire exposes society's arbitrary sexual morality. **Smaller anecdotes** ("Egg View Note," "Double Quick") are humorous sketches about rural life and moving houses. The **advertisements and illustrations** are period-typical products (Borden's milk, various goods), reflecting early 20th-century magazine culture. The page exemplifies *Judge*'s satirical approach to American commercialism and social conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BRIGHTENS EVERY HOME i Advertising WE GLANCE through magazines and see: Smith’s pickles are the best, Blink’s pork and beans, and Jink’s blue jeans By far lead all the rest. Sleep on a mattress soft and warm, Use Madam Blank’s face cream, Our tires for speed, be sure to read J's weekly—it’s a scream! K's Bitter Root will cure the chills, L's candy creams are great, Send for our book on ‘How To Cook"’— We send it free by freight. And thus each month alluring ads Are spread before our eyes; They get our dough each issue, so It pays to advertise.—corer 8. staf. The Progressive Church The church was progressive and de- cided to advertise the Sunday services, The advertising writer who was employed had been turning out smok- ing- tobacco literature. Here's the way he pro- claimed the forthcoming sermon: “Roll out of the hay BORDEN'S CONDENSED MILK “TRAVELERS " early Sunday morning and come in and look us over. Surest thing you know, it’s fine snoozing on the day of rest; but a good, soft-cornered pew isn’t half bad for that morning nap. Besides, the parson may put over some think stuff that will make you give Morpheus the go by and sit up and take particular notice. One guess at the text. ‘The Theory of Eter- nal Damnation.’ Some text, is it not? Right-o, we chirp. Just put the topic in your old jimmy pipe and smoke it. The sting has been removed by a recently pat- ented process of theological reasoning. There’s nothing to it, you owe it to your- self to get next to the doc’s doctrine. Good for what ails you !’’—dinten Gilmore. Egg View Note MADDER man than Steve Gaunt can’t ‘be found in Furrow County. He sent off the other day after a new rocking chair, and in a newspaper that come wrapped around one of the legs, he read where oneof them there French doctors said that walk- ing on all fours would cure indigestion. Steve walked clean downtown that way Monday night, and is still hunting for three dollars’ worth of small change that he lost out of his vest pock- et on the way. Double Quick M. I. Grate was mov- ing again. **Wasn’t long in that house,’”’ commented a friend. “*Had a couple of sons born there,"’ he replied. “Oh, true!’’ medi- tated the friend. ‘‘I’d forgotten the twins.” INSURANCE I Wonder Why ? A BACHELOR may safely tarry Till sixty-odd, then up and marry A little thing of twenty-two. ‘Tis right and proper so to do. Disparity of ages? Pooh! A maid till thirty-odd may wait To wed a youth of twenty-eight. Now hear the folks begin to guy! Just listen to the hue and cry: Disparity of ages— Fie! I wonder why ?—4. Ww. Yeung. The New Method Nurse—Here is your new little brother. Tommy—Gee! I s’pose he came by parcel post, too. FLORIDA WATER comicbooks.com