Judge, 1913-04-05 · page 19 of 24
Judge — April 5, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines **humor columns** (left side) with **advertising** (right side), typical of Judge's format. **The Humor Section** features short jokes from college newspapers (Yale, Princeton, Stanford, Harvard). They're mostly mild sexual innuendo—a "turkey trot" dance reference, baseball metaphors for sexual conquest, and misunderstandings about "You're My Baby." These represent early-1900s collegiate humor: cheeky but restrained by modern standards. **The Main Advertisement** is for **Schlitz Beer**, claiming its brown bottles protect beer from sunlight damage. It cites a scientist (G. Beck, 1881) proving light exposure ruins beer's taste. The ad emphasizes "purity"—a major selling point in an era of food-safety concerns and before modern food regulations. The brown bottle became Schlitz's trademark. **Below** are recruitment ads for salesmen and agents, promising easy money—typical of early-1900s entrepreneurial advertising. The page reflects Judge's dual purpose: satirical commentary mixed with commercial revenue.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
st. jestiy Easily Arranged. Inever liked the ‘turkey trot,’’ But if some girl of merit Should tease me to—why, like as not, I'd promptly grin and ‘‘bear it!"” —Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. Didn't Phase Him.—She—Yes, I ‘will be yours, on one condition. He—That’s all right. Ientered Yale sith six.— Yale Record. They Worked the Squeeze.—A young nan was escorting to her home a young indy who lived on First Street. Young lady—By the way, can you play baseball? Young man—Sure! Young lady—Well, I am safe on First. Yow let’s see you make a home run, With that, the young man stole one, wd, when he found that the young lady wasnot put out, he decided that he had rate a safe hit. The game was then alled on account of darkness.—Stanford Gheparral, Why grads don’t marry. —Princeton Tiger. Impertinent Question.—Fond mamma— Tey say Sylvia’s arms are so well shaped teeause I have made her do a great deal of sweeping. Chemist (trying to make a hit)—Er-- des she walk much, Mrs. Ridgely? iit Sylvia.—Pennsylvania Punch Misunderstood?—The trouble all arose they were talking over the titles of Ppalar songs. “Do you know ‘You're My Baby’?" he tsked, Thereupon she called him fresh and Yapped him good-bye.—Princeton Tiger. The Morning After.—Visitor—Are the hdies in? Butler—Yes, sir, they are all in, Visitor—Oh, I beg your pardon! {’ll again when they are feeling better. Harvard Lampoon. ———> R Read every word in this opinion. Remember it is not our statement, but the deliberate opinion of a great scientist working for perfection in beer. Pure beer is food and tonic. G. Beck (Bierbrauer, 1881, No. 8) finds that “beer in light bottles deteriorates more quickly than beer in dark bottles when exposed to the direct sunlight.” His tests were continued for three weeks and proved that beer in light bottles had acquired a very disagreeable, nasty taste and flavor and was unfit for consumption. The Brown Bottle with Schlitz is not a fad. is based on scientific principles. Its use We have adopted every idea, every invention, every innovation that could make for purity. Schlitz is sent to you in Brown Bottles to protect its purity from the brewery to your glass. Why don’t you make Schlitz in Brown Bottles your regular beer? See that crown or cork is branded ‘* Schlitz"? 30-M The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous. AGENTS 1s , AWAKE! START WITTt TI An ve: es ue 4 Ga fs THE 20th CENTURY WONDER started In an honest, clean, reliable, nent, money-making| Business. ‘Sold on « money-beck guarentee The Blackstone Water Power Vacuum Massage Mechiae Fc hi to Lasts Lite-Time einess. ico within it Bn doe ‘Doo AGENTS GENERAL AGENTS | ROAD MEN. MAKE MONEY MERE START NOW—TODAY D s In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com