Judge, 1913-04-05 · page 10 of 24
Judge — April 5, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"The Garden"** (top left): A humorous poem by Margaret G. Hay about urban gardening's disappointments—the irony that careful home gardeners' work gets destroyed by neighbors' loose chickens, rendering all effort worthless. **"What Did She Do?"** (top right): A joke about Eve from the Garden of Eden. Mrs. Jones notes that Eve had to start wearing clothes after the apple incident, but Adam was too angry about that apple to help fasten her dress—a crude pun on "hook her up" (dress fastening) playing on domestic marital frustration. **The tin knocker story** (center-left): A satirical tale where an anonymous author of a prestigious sociology book is revealed to be a common tinsmith/knocker. The joke mocks intellectual pretension—Annabelle assumes his "unwashed" appearance at a masquerade was deliberate mystery, but he simply hadn't bothered cleaning up from work. **"At the Indoor Fair"** (bottom): A brief joke about crowd management—posting a "Free" sign will empty a venue as people rush the exit, satirizing public behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Garden A LITTLE lot, quite six by eight; A little fancy fence and gate. A little set of garden tools, A little book of planting rules, Some gaudy packages of seeds, Some catalogues of farmer's needs, A little watering pot of green— Such busy workers ne’er were seen! A little garden, planted neat With many lovely things to eat; A little needed sleep that night, A getting up by dawn’s first light, To find, alack! a sight that sickens— Your work dug up by neighbors’ chickens! Margaret G Hay What Did She Do? “Poor Eve!’ sympathized Mrs. Jones, “Poor Adam!"’ snorted Mr. Jones, as another fingernail succumbed to a refrac- tory hook. “She had to begin wearing gowns,” continued Mrs. Jones, ‘‘just when Adam was too mad about the apple incident to hook her up.”” Has the contraction of the currency any bearing on the smaller size of new paper A HARD ROW TO HOE money about to be issued? face, the gifted author of ‘Bypaths in Sociological Gar- dens’!"’ This was the name of a new book which had been mak- ing a tremendous stir among the students of the great science. It had appeared anonymously, but the identity of the author had just been established and enthusiastic sociologists had contrived a fete in his honor. Annabelle went in the blue cashmere dress and stood face to face with the gifted author of ‘‘Bypaths in Sociological Gardens."’ It was the tin knocker, with his face still washed and a purple chrysanthemum in his buttonhole. Later in the evening Annabelle succeeded in speaking to himapart. “Oh, now I shall know why—you—you wore a mask !"? she said. The tin knocker looked at her strangely. She felt that a revelation was coming. “It's smeary work—tin knocking,’’ he explained; ‘and a fellow has to hurry like lightning, with all the old ladies on the street after him at once.”” “But I mean why did you wash it off?’’ persisted Anna- belle. ‘‘At least, why didn’t you wash it off before?” “TI never thought anything about it till I saw you,’’ he answered. “Oh,’’ breathed Annabelle, ‘‘isn’t it true that science is the most wonderful study in the world?’’ At the Indoor Fair Helper—We're going to have a big crowd here, and it’ll be some job to keep "em moving. A PLAIN REASON Manager—That'll be easy. Take down that rear exit Hevwiisut— Why do son Wee thin a i better th: ik one? sign, post up the word ‘‘Free,”’ and they'll all bolt for it. Herman—Tt He two less buttons. — comicbooks.com