Judge, 1913-03-22 · page 15 of 26
Judge — March 22, 1913 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Woman and the Dog"**: A joke about an elderly woman repeatedly asking a trolley conductor about her stop, then revealing the dog was born there—absurd sentimentality mocked. **"Poultry and Politics"**: Satire on women's suffrage. A hen declares she'll abandon domestic life (the rooster) once she can vote, suggesting women see voting as liberation from traditional roles. **"This Meddling World"**: Sociology is mocked as government control over workers' earnings—reflecting anxiety about economic regulation and class tension. **"The Office Boy Resigns"**: Written in working-class dialect, this poem satirizes an employee who quits after being fired without severance, blaming his boss while ironically claiming he made the business successful. It critiques both workplace exploitation and workers' entitled attitudes. **"The Justweds"**: A couple worries about home repairs and expensive plumbers—domestic comedy. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to labor relations, women's rights, and class anxieties of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Woman and the Dog AN ELDERLY woman, with a small dog upon her lap, while riding ina trolley car, asked the conductor if he would kindly tell her when they got to Hazel Street. After she had got up two or three times, the conductor told her to keep her seat and he would let her know when they reached Hazel Street. Finally he called out, ‘‘Hazel Street!"’ The woman held the dog up to the win- dow and said, ‘‘Fido, look! There’s where you were born!” Then, turning to the conductor, she remarked, ‘I’m going to the end of the line.’” Poultry and Politics. “When I can vote,’’ said Mrs. Hen, To her neighbor, young Miss Goose, “I'll leave the lordly rooster then, And be a Sister Moose.'’ This Meddling World Willie—What’s sociology, dad? Crabshaw—After you have worked and earned a dollar, my boy, sociology tells you how you shall spend it. Many persons holding high positions are not resigned to the present political Neil—Why are women fighting for more rights? situation in Washington. Helen—We have no privileges like men, and have to be so prim and proper all the time. The Office Boy Resigns 0, IT’S like dis wit’ me, I'm t’rough wit’ bein’ a slave. I’m done wit’ woikin’ hard, see! An’ starvin’ meself ter save. I gets up late dis mornin’. De boss was feelin’ sore. He fires me. Can y’u beat it? Wy, I’ve been late before! I asks him fer me check. “Nix on dat,’’ says he. “You're all drawed out a week ahead.’" I guess he’s right, but, Gee! He hain’t got no gratitude. That guy's a regular crook. A woikin’ man has got no chanst. He proves it by his book. Just watch him go to smash Without me in his biz. I've run that office like *twas mine Instead of bein’ his. It’s like dis wit’ me, bo, No gink can fire me; So I resigns me position, An’ beats him to it, see! Stanley R. Heftund. Sources of Information. First clubwoman—She has a perfect THE TUSTWED'S knowledge of how the other half lives. Eugene—This bookcase is an inch out of plumb. We must have that fixed. Second elubwoman—Gossip or socio- Imogeue—Oh, deat! And I 've heard those plumbers are so expensive. logist? comicbooks.com