Judge — March 22, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAVE TIME, PATIENCE AND CAR FARE Rent a cottage, a bungalow, or a flat in the same building where you have your business office. A School of Yellow Journalism I" SEEMS incredible that in an age of high specialization and tireless enterprise no one has thought to open a school for yellow journalists. What now pass for ‘‘schools of jour- nalism’’ are, in reality, only schools of respectable journalism; the varied and fascinating activities of the yellows are deliberately ignored. In fact, nearly everything that a yel- low journalist might learn in one of these present-day ‘schools’ would injure his efficiency. He would learn profes- sional ethics, instead of how to use bur- glars’ tools; accuracy, instead of the capabilities of his imagination; French or German or something equally futile, instead of the jargon of the underworld and the latest slang. At the end of four years he would emerge unable to appre- ciate the scintillating humor of ‘‘Desper- ate Desmond," untrained in the arts of photograph stealing, woefully ignorant of the lore of profane love, und perhaps without education enough to know how to sneak a waste basket out of an office and piece together fragments of a torn letter. Would he be able to ‘‘go the limit’? in defamation of men in public life? Would he know the safest successful methods of blackmail? Or how to make the most of an insinuation without standing in any danger of being sued for slander? Emphatically, no! We can do no less than conclude that our so-called schools of journalism appear to be color-blind to yellow. It only adds to the puzzling features of the situation to per- ceive that a course in yellow journalism would be easy to plan, In the main, it should be simply a case of turning the standards of respectable journalism topsy-turvy. These parallel columns should both make the point clear and serve to outline a prac- tical course: ORDINARY CURRICULUM. CURRICULUM IN YELLOW. The science of news gathering. The art of turning up rumors. Newspaper jurisprudence. Evading libel and slander laws, History and principles of jour- nalism, The ethics of advertising. ¢ * be * ¢ Sob sister specialties. French and German journalism. Tongues of the underworld. Grammar and rhetoric. * s. ° * od Writing the editorial. . . . eo oe . . . . Defamation of public men. Hygiene and physical culture. Assault, porch climbing, etc. We know just the man to endow such a school. He has not been over-modest -in the past, so perhaps he will see what a rich opportunity this is to seize some more personal advertising. Charles Pheipt Cushing, Dampened Ardor Father—Young Willoughby doesn’t seem to call on Grace very often of late. Wonder if it’s a case of dampened ardor? Son—I think likely. He proposed to her while out canoe- ing, and she threw him over. Dodging Verbal Debris. Tourist (alighting from train at Prairieville)—What’s that thundering noise up the street? Station agent—Colonel Roarer denouncing grafting and grafters. Tourist—But I don’t see anybody listening to him. Where's his audience? Station agent—In clone cellars. the cy- FOOLISH QUERY Reporter—Do you expect to get damages from the company ? Mike— Expect "em? I've got ‘em? comicbooks.com