Judge — March 15, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Emotionalist. EAR SISTERS, last night when I sought repose upon the luxurious slats of my folding couch, dreams varied and vivid swept through the chambers of my brain, arousing me to horror. For methought that I beheld long lines of trousered forms, haloed with smoke and discharging cigar butts, peacefully ap- proach the polls, only to be thrown into wild confusion by the sudden advent of many skirted figures, surging forward in high-strung haste, shattering the silence with emotional babble and wak- ing to agitated attention even the uniformed somnambulist upon the beat. And scarce had this vision passed, when again I dreamed—of legislative halls filled with the drowsy droning of male orators and the slum- ber sounds of peaceful auditors, which were rudely drowned at length by the tumultuous advent. of female figures, hurling from their reckless hands flaring feelings that burned to hissing ashes the cold and clever rea- sons issuing from the minds of men. And I awoke with the shocked shivers coasting their icy way adown my spine— awoke to feel a great thankful- ness that in only nine States of our Union have the vote vandals ruthlessly swept away the cobwebs from’ our csutoms and permitted woman to pour her seething emotions into the political potion steam- ing in the great cauldron of The State. And so to-day I am going to entreat those who have been perverted by the palaver of the ballot seekers to remem- ber that woman is all emotion; not the good and wholesome kind that lies placid and deep in the heart of man, but a shoot- ing fountain throwing up hysterics and hubbub. We have only to look at real life to see that, whenever a test is to be met, an ordeal to be undergone, an ob- stacle to be overcome, a duty to be per- formed, woman's feelings rise up and seize her by the throat, throw her into mental and physical spasms, and convul- By OREOLA W, HASKELL, sively pass way, leaving her like a blasted blossom, languishing forlorn. Behold the woman in love. While man looks with a cold and glittering eye at the female of his affections, sternly set- ting his face in a noble, sick-calf expres- sion, haughtily giving his time to dancing attendance on the fair, all at the dictates of his vaunted reason, poor emotional woman loses all her appetite save for din- THE TAIL OF THE COMET. ners, luncheons, presents, personals and parties, and, in order to muse on the ab- sent one, abandons all occupations save the acquiring of a trousseau, the hiring of a flat, and the selection of a vanload of furniture. Nor is she better as a wife and mother. All day long clouded with the mist of emotion, her mind, unfit for practical things, can only grapple with butcher bills, furnaces, grub, cleaning and clothes, with a few hours devoted to social, religious, theatrical and educa- tional duties and pastimes. And where love demoralizes her before, grief over- whelms her as a widow. Overcome with anguish, she can only feebly work all day like a man to support her brood, and then, returning to the home she has kept, fool- ishly devote her evenings to housework, nursing, disciplining, and the making and Caustic. mending of clothes. Where do we find man’s sentiments thus conquering him? In dreams, my sisters, only in dreams. Nor must we forget the women wage- earners. So often do we see stenograph- ers in hysterics, teachers writhing with surcharged feelings, clerks simpering sen- timentally, and housemaids frenzied with feeling that we wonder why their employ- ers cling so patiently to their services, And saddest of all is woman's lack of control when it comes to bearing pain. While a suffer- ing man is a joy to any house- hold, woman shrieking in agony is a painful though common sight. While doctors and den- tists unite in praising the pa- tience of man under the for- ceps and the knife and his will- ingness to ingulf the pill, they shrink from the fracas of wom- an’s feelings. Why, even Na- ture, aware of female weakness, makes the advent of the infant so pleasant and pangless as to fill one with wonder to know that the modern woman does not yearn for fifteen or sixteen re- petitions of the same soothing sensations. Therefore, my sisters, beware how you seek to boost the emo- tionalist ballotward. Fainting at the beauty of the male candidates for office, agitated by the measures advocated by political parties, excited by pamphlets on tariff and trusts, ruffled by defeat and elated at victory, how can she fail to bring to the polls ferment, disturbance, turmoil? She might even try to introduce her foster- ing mother-feeling into our institutions; to remake, not punish, criminals; to pen- sion the old, to give girls industrial educa- tion, to strive to eliminate the male ele- ment of fighting, business competition, and, in short, to upheave the foundations of society and overthrow our perfect and pleasant system of industry and govern- ment. Let Western States tackle the fe- male voter and her feelings; the East still shudders at the thought of nullifying man’s unruffled and habitual reason by the insanity of woman's sentiments. comicbooks.com