Judge, 1913-02-15 · page 22 of 24
Judge — February 15, 1913 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humor pieces and period advertising. The three "Stories with Smiles" are short comedic anecdotes: 1. **"Slight Misunderstanding"** plays on a man with a lisp asking to borrow a pen for pigs. The neighbor repeatedly mishears "two sows and pigs" as "two thousand pigs," creating absurdist confusion. 2. **"Up Against It"** satirizes a newly elected mayor who, despite winning office and receiving public confidence, is miserable because four political operatives who helped elect him each demand the same patronage job—poking fun at machine politics and the burdens of political obligation. 3. **"Wouldn't Use Slang"** humorously depicts a child recounting the Biblical story of Joseph to his sister, pedantically refusing to use the teacher's word "kid" while describing brothers murdering another boy—innocent humor about childhood literalism. The page is primarily advertisement-driven, including pitches for rupture relief devices, money-making schemes, and cigars. The Bugville Book advertisement (left) targets families with children.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Do you know a little baby just like this? Its jolly little laugh is always sweet to hear. The Bugville Book is the very thing for it. Make this baby happy with a copy. There are over 70 pages of the Ad- ventures of the In- habitants of Bug- ville—an endless source of entertain- ment. Even grown- ups will like it. We'll send this to you for just 10c. Judge 225 Fifth Ave. New York Stories with Smiles. Slight Misunderstanding.—A man who lisped had bought some pigs, and he asked a neighbor for the use of a pen a few days. “Ihave jutht been purchathing thome thwine—two thowth and pigth. I want to put them in-your pen till I can fikth a plaith for them.’’ “Two thousand pigs!’? exclaimed the astonished neighbor. ‘‘Why, my pen will hardly hold a dozen!"’ ‘You don’t underthtand me, Mithter Bent. I don’t thay two thouthand pigth, but two thowth and pigth."’ “T hear you,’’ said Mr. Bent. ‘Two thousand pigs! Why, you must be crazy !"’ And then the lisper gave it up.—Coun- try Gentleman, Up Against It.—-''I suppose you're very happy now that you're elected mayor?" “Well, [can’t say thatI am. I thought I would be, but it hasn’t worked out that way.’ “But you got such a splendid vote. It ought to make you feel happy to think the people have such confidence in you." “That is cheering, of course. It is fine to know that the majority of the people believe in you. Still, I’m not altogether contented." “T can't understand it at all. Here you've been elected to the highest honor in the community; you have splendid op- portunities to do good work; you may graduate from this position to broader service for the State, and possibly from the State to the nation. You ought to be happy if any one is."’ “Tknow it. But I’'mnot. The fact is, I am up against it. I have four political managers who did splendid service for me, and each one demands the same job.""— Detroit Free Press. Wouldn’t Use Slang.—Donald had been to Sunday school and on coming home was asked what he had learned. The lesson was the story of Joseph and the small learner was evidently very full of his subject. “Oh,” he said, ‘‘it was about a boy, and his brothers took him and put him in a hole in the ground; and then they killed another boy, and took the first boy’s coat and dipped it in the blood of this boy, and’’—— “Oh, no, Donald, not another boy !’" his sister interrupted, horrified. But Donald stood his ground. “It was, too," he insisted. Then he added, ‘‘The teacher said ‘kid,’ but I don’t use words like that.’’—Woman's Home Companion. Waited Too Long.—*‘I don’t often dine away from home,’’ confided a friend, ‘tand when I do I am careful. But I had an experience at a restaurant the other night that was a new one to me, and that’s why I'm handing it to you. **When I entered the dining-room, some- body relieved meof my hat, When I left, I asked for that hat. The waiter said, “«*What kind of a hat was it, sir?’ ““*& brand-new one,’ I replied truth- fully and anxiously. “*I'm afraid there’s not much chance for you, sir,’ grinned the menial. ‘All the new hats have been gone for fifteen minutes at least!’’’—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Relief For Rupture Without Operation We Allow A 60-Day Test— Entirely At Our Own Risk—To Prove It No longer any need to drag through life at the mercy of strap and spring trusses. No reason in thi or let thoes force you to undergo a dangerous opersiion, Away With Leg-Str Spring Trusses So faras we know, our guaranteed | rupture holder is the only thing of any kind for rupture that you can get on 60 days trial—the only thing we of good enough to stand such ery of wearing leg 4 to hold at all times—inelud web. ing, taking a bath. etc. Has relieved in cave afier ue hor 7 Ciathe Co. “125 E. 23rd CASH IN YOUR It you have spar tor sale we will buy it! “We pay big money—good American Dollare—and back our ugents to the limit Write at once for the greatest offer ever made by aay tailoring concern on earth, $5 to $10 222." While Doing Other Work PROGRESS TAILORING CO Dept. 612, CHICACO aS GALE GEMS $8 Uw ring, pinor sted tor Ieee 4 UM BOOK, Lied ho. 1149, Brunswick Bidg., New | York Press Cutting Bureau will send you all newspaper clippings which may appear about you. yout friends, or any subject on waich you m t to be “ep to date", Every newspaper and periodical of important in the ‘United States and Europ ‘Terms, 13.00 for 100 notices, Henne Rowrixe, l0s1l0 Sevead Avenue. New York. FOR 2G. ARS “MADE AT KEY WEST VARICOSE VEINS, "2k comicbooks.com