Judge, 1913-02-08 · page 23 of 24
Judge — February 8, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains three brief humorous anecdotes and period advertising: **"The Unreliable Census"** mocks the 1910 U.S. Census accuracy through Mississippi Senator John Sharp Williams, who claims the census undercounted his state's population by millions—yet he's received "more than three million applications for post-office appointments" based on inflated numbers. The joke satirizes politicians' exaggeration and the gap between official statistics and political self-interest. **"Paying in Kind"** uses wordplay: a customer pays for potatoes with mostly counterfeit bills topped with one genuine dollar. The dealer rejects it; the customer notes the top layer is good—just like the potatoes were, implying both were deceptively packaged. **"The New York Flat"** jokes about cramped Manhattan housing, where even expensive ($5,000/year) apartments are tiny. The dominant advertising is for **Schlitz Beer**, claiming purity prevents "biliousness" (indigestion/nausea) and touting brown bottles' protection against light decay—a common early 20th-century beer marketing claim. A doctor figure endorses the product.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Stories With Smiles. That Unreliable Census.—Senator John Sharp Williams, of Mississippi, met Senator-elect Ollie James, of Kentucky, ina Washington hotel lobby the other Look here, Ollie,”’ said the Missis- sippian; ‘*do you know the director of the census—Dr. Durand?” “Sure I know him, Senator! Why?" answered the Kentucky congressman. “Well, I'm going to denounce him and his no-account census in the Senate the first chance I get, because of the gross inaccuracy in the statistics of popula- tion which is given out.’’ “How's that?”’ asked Mr. James. “Why, down in my State,’ explained Senator Williams, ‘‘the census gives a population of two million, counting men, women and children and negroes, and I have already had more than three million applications for post-office ap- pointments.’’ — Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. Paying in Kind.—He came in and laid down some suspicious-looking bills, with agenuine dollar bill on top. “T want to pay for that barrel of po- tatoes 1 got.” ‘an't take this money,’’ said the dealer. “Why not?”? “Most of it isn’t good.” “The top layer is good, is it not?’’ “That's the way it was with the pota- toes."’—Louisville Courier-Journal. The New York Flat.—They who have ever flat-hunted in New York know well that, till a rental of $5,000 or $6,000 a year is reached, the flats are incredibly cramped. Indeed, in a good neighbor- hood, even a $5,000 flat is apt to bea tiny one. Murray & LANMANS Florida Water Makes the daily bath a pos- itive luxury. Its world-wide ue for over a century has emphasized the delightful qualities. of this matchless toilet perfume. Leading Druggists sel It. ‘Accept no Substitute! Sample sent om receipt of viz cents in stampa, Lanman & Kemp 135 Water St., New York (HN os ih} ess ; Ss IN ar au: CdDy uy ih ninkin IMPURE Beer) llashiahalh VOUUSUSSVVISEUSA ESTE EES DST When beer is pure there is nothing more healthful. Pure beer brings no _after-effect, no biliousness. Schlitz kept pure. is not only made pure but is Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass gives the best pro- tection against light. The Brown Bottle protects Schlitz purity from the brewery to your glass. Perhaps if you, too, would drink Schlitz — Schlitz in Brown Bottles— you would have an altogether different idea about beer. Schlitz in Brown Bottles should be your regular beer. See that crown or cork is branded ‘‘Schitz.”* The Beer That Made M ilwaukee Famous. In discussing this phenomenon, Pro- | fessor Brander Matthews said, at a | luncheon, “‘T remarked to a lady the other day, “Why, madam, your dog wags his tail up and down!’ ( vautey GEMS soi “«+¥es," she replied; *he has to. We | finsazinorttea ce gramination allcnartestreeeia ce tenet are comparati poor, you see, and ‘ring measure. WHITE VALLEY GEM CO. mira Saks Bldg Indianapolis. tod Fido was raised in a $5,000 flat.’ ”” Exchange. ADD QUICKLY — ACCURATELY, Machines 00 ard $3.50. They ea guiciy, emi, seearately “Doraty She used to sit upon his knee Better fer uke price. Teton psd ate When she was courting Jim, And since they wed the habit clings— She often sits on him. v iy Oreo Agents J. H. BASSETT & CO., Dept. «0-4, 6921 Indlane Ave, Chlenge, Lil, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com