Judge — February 8, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard. ™man, . be in Modern Matrimony: A Duetto. ata He: Dear one, when we exchange our vows, ling We'll knot the loosest sort of tie; oa For our ideals, like our brows, geet Are broad and high. . oiled She: ; Asimple hitch I should prefer, dibly As simple as we can devise; amed Alovers’-bowline, as it were— One yank unties. those ie: ore." This nuptial pact shall not coerce » the Our own sweet wills a single jot. sig. We'll chop ‘for better or for worse,”” And all that rot. She: ; ; My love, your sentiments are mine; Techo them with all my heart. Isimply can’t endure that line— “Till death us part.’” 0 be i , le me My idol, I am overjoyed: edn. Tsha’n’t love twice, but if I should, This contract will be null and void— i That's understood. it She: vers’ [shall not dream of liberty, Bat if I should—you'll understand two The bonds that bind us now will be e, in As ropes of sand. irted Re: Iam the needle, you the pole! upid Oh, Pole, my constancy you know! Bat should I not remain heart-whole, I'm free to go. s his —bis She: Iam the flower, you are my sun! sad Oh, Sun, you know my constancy ! Bat if I choose to cut and run, the You quite agree. AL Together : nt Since you love me as I love you, Herewith a sacred troth we plight. Each to the other will be true; If not—good-night! nim: —Chicago Tribune. Rare Stock.—‘‘This dog of mine is the some dog, let me you! He has a the wonderful pedigree “1 suppose you trace him away back to the dog Noah took into the ark.’” “Say, this dog’s ancestor didn't go ‘een [| into the ark. He had a bark of his | own."’—Boston Transcript. | ally Oozing Courage.—‘‘Isn't that fellow ~ ever going to propose? | “T guess not; he’s like an hourglass.’’ “How's that?’’ “The more time he gets, the less sand rest he has.""—St. Paul Pioneer Press. no The Difference.—‘‘After all, life isa | fod deal like Wall Street.”” | “In what way?" tis all a gamble, you know."’ wins “But that doesn’t make it like Wall Street. In life almost every one has a set chance.'’"—Chicago Record-Herald. A Little Assistance, Please!—There is always room at the top, but the trouble | whether you light the ol the national joy smoke The toppy red bag, Sc; the tidy red tin, 10c in handsome pound and half-pound’ humidore. R J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO., Winston-Salem, N. C. is that most people insist on waiting for the elevator instead of taking to the stairs.—Detroit News. Up to Date.—‘‘ Why do you ring a bell every time you get a coin in your cup?” believe in giving the utmost pub- licity to all contributions,’? answered the mendicant, with a significant smile. —Pittsburgh Post. With Others To Follow.—‘‘She says she thinks she could learn to love me.’” “Yet you do not look happy !’* “It is going to be expensive. Had her at the theater last night, with a lit- PRINGE ALBERT You hit up a jimmy pipe jammed brimful of P. A. and get a run for your money! ‘Talk about pipe smoking! anything like P, A.—so fresh and fragrant, so good ! ‘There's joy stored up for yeu in every grain of this bully tobacco— jd jimmy or roll a cigarette—every puff makes it more and more the tobacco that tickles your palate most! Your brand? Listen: P. A. can't bite, because the patented process by which it is made cuts out the sting. pull—from first fire-up down to the sweet “‘heel’’—this Prince Albert that has doubled the number of jimmy pipe smokers ! Get the idea while the spirit of Spring is bubbling in your system! ‘There never was Hence, it’s one long joy In answering advertisements please mentiun JUDGE, It will be appreciated. tle supper afterward. The first lesson cost me twenty-five dollars.’’—Kansas City Journal, Absurd.—‘‘He is one of those fellows who expect the impossible.”’ “*How so?” ‘He expects some woman to love him for himself alone.''—Houston Post. An Ingenious Profession.—‘‘Why do you want a new trial?” “On the ground of newly discovered evidence, your honor. My client dug up four hundred dollars that I didn’t know he had."*—Louisville Courier-Journal. comicbooks.com