Judge, 1913-02-08 · page 12 of 24
Judge — February 8, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American concerns: **Main Cartoon:** "Guarding Against a Contingency" depicts a dinner scene where a man appears to be monitoring a new maid's attendance at breakfast—suggesting he's ensuring she witnesses his attentiveness to his wife, likely to guard against infidelity rumors or marital discord. **Satirical Content:** - "A Bribe" mocks romantic gestures, reducing love to trading "voting rights"—likely commentary on women's suffrage debates of the era - "Definition" jokes that political maps are merely places where job-seekers gather, critiquing patronage and political corruption - "Modernizing Emerson" parodies Emerson's famous quote, replacing spiritual aspiration with automobile obsession—satire of early automotive culture replacing transcendentalist ideals - "Prejudiced Source" contains a divorce joke where an actor dismisses his ex-wife's warnings as "old wives' tales," mocking both theatrical types and gender dynamics The overall theme appears to be social commentary on modern marriage, politics, and changing values in contemporary America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GUARDING A Bribe. ‘0 YOU, dear friend, lL used to send Rhymed words of cloying sweetness, And offer you Devotion true, To show my love's completeness. But now, my dear, To make it clear That I am fond and doting, If you'll be mine, Sweet valentine, I'll let you do the voting! =¥. Parker Jone Definition. Knicker—'‘ What is a map?"’ Bocker—'‘A map consists of a vast number of places where many patriots want good jobs.’ Obviously. Rusticus—*‘Mister, what's that sign over yonder—-Tonsorial Parlor?’ Civicus—"‘Just a local barbarism.”” Sweet Valentine! A Rondelet. Sweet valentine! When Cupid shot his arrows through my heart, Sweet valentine, His shafts he tipped with those bright eyes of thine. In justice, teach those lovely orbs the art, With balm of love returned, to ease the smart, Sweet valentine! J. Feriyth Smith. Be sure the valentine matches the gown. AGAINST A CONTINGENCY. Since engaging the new maid Mrs. Sleeplate has been very punctual in her appearance at oreakfast, Modernizing Emerson. HITCH your wagon to a star? My, what antiquated stuff! If the thing's a touring car, Stars don’t travel fast enough. Hitch it in a comet’s wake— Sixty-h.-p. type, you know— Watching lest you overtake— Overtake and wreck your tow. = Walter G. Doty Prejudiced Source. “Won't you marry me, dear?” pleaded the actor, after his fourth divorce. “Why, I kind 0’ like you, Billy.” said the actress; ‘‘but I've heard so much about you, I fear’’—— “My dear,” hastily interrupted the actor, ‘‘you must not believe all those old wives’ tales!’’ comicbooks.com