Judge, 1913-01-25 · page 7 of 26
Judge — January 25, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century American life through humorous anecdotes and a fashion history illustration. **Top illustration**: Shows women's clothing evolution from 512 B.C. (nude) through 1730 A.D. (increasingly elaborate) to 1912 A.D. (modest dress). The satire suggests fashion reached maximum decoration by 1730, then retreated toward simplicity—mocking both historical excess and contemporary debates about women's clothing. **"Real News" stories** mock domestic mishaps and social absurdities: a circuit preacher escapes a bull by boring it with a sermon; a husband's snoring creates a domino effect of household chaos; an Iowa man injures himself helping with chores; a Milwaukee man wears an ID tag identifying his hired girl (suggesting he frequently gets lost or disoriented, likely from drinking). **Right column** includes sentimental verse about Adam wishing his wife Eve had "no mother" (implying mothers-in-law cause marital discord), and a joke about poet Sappho wanting her rejected manuscript returned in a self-addressed envelope. The overall tone: affectionate mockery of contemporary American married life and modern conveniences gone wrong.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
In the beginning no ciothes at all. CIRCUIT rider, whose horse had gone lame, dismounted and proceeded across a Missouri @:! pasture on foot. An angry i bull, sighting the pedestrian, took after him, whereat the preacher fled for his life to the protecting branches of a sturdy oak. For an hour the bull pawed and snorted under the tree. Finally the man of cloth lifted his voice in prayer, but this seemed to irritate the animal. Finally, in de- spair, the unfortunate minister began his next Sunday’s sermon, whereat the bull lay quietly down under the tree and went to sleep. The circuit rider then slid cautiously down the trunk and escaped, convinced of the efficacy of his sermon. a Rotary trouble is re- ported from Kalamazoo, Mich., where the husband snores and awakens the dog. The dog howls and awakens the baby. The baby squawls and awakens the mother. The mother scolds and awakens the man, who snorts, turns over, goes tosleep and Starts the trouble all over again, The Greeks wore a garment or two Caddie—' Hey, Tommy! 512 B.C. 1730 A. D. The limit was reached, No more clothes could be added. so they started THE TREND OF FASHION. eal Ne By BYRON WILLIAMS, W The fates seem to discourage domes- ticity in married men. An Iowa hus- band beat a carpet so hard in his earnest desire to help that a tack flew from it and put out his right eye. Andreas Brown, a Milwaukee man who frequently gets lost at night in the great cocktail desert, wears a string around his neck, from which is sus- pended a tag bearing the name of his hired girl. All the policemen in his territory, he says, know the hired-girl directory, from Annie down to Xophia. ON THE JOB, Stop in an’ tell ma I won't be home fer lunch or dinner ; but ask her to leave me a bite to eat before bed-time."” Hitt Ss Henry Jones has opened a bakery and barber shop in Crownsdale, Wis., where he is prepared to do all ‘kinds of clock and watch repairing, mend guns and pay cash for mink skins. Those having houses to rent will do well to see him. Leave your laundry with him and get your umbrella fixed while you wait. What Adam Missed. After each wigging I receive, Somehow or other, I wish my Jane were more like Eve. Eve had no mother. Eve was as simple as a child. My Jane’s not clever; She now and then may be beguiled. Her mother—never! — George B. Merrweed, Literary Luck. Sappho had just com- pleted one of her great poems, “‘Of course,’’ she said, in response to her ste- nographer, ‘‘of course, inclose a stamped and ad- dressed envelope. You don’t suppose I want it to go into the waste bas- ket, do you?”” comicbooks.com