Judge, 1913-01-25 · page 17 of 26
Judge — January 25, 1913 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine presents a series of satirical sketches mocking domestic financial conflicts and social pretensions of the early 20th century. **Top Comic Strip ("The Ways of Chivalry"):** A husband repeatedly dodges payment obligations—his wife presents bills for a coat, his daughter for an outfit, his son for money—while he's "inundated with bills" at the office. The punchline: after others are dressed fashionably, he cuts a ridiculous figure. The satire targets husbands who prioritize appearing authoritative and chivalrous while avoiding financial responsibility to their families. **Other Sketches:** "The Happy Family" jokes that few men waste money on chorus girls only because there aren't enough chorus girls. "Wanted to Hear" mocks rural unsophistication at silent movies. "No Romance in These" sarcastically notes newlyweds received practical tools instead of romantic gifts—reflecting post-WWI economic constraints. Throughout, the humor targets masculine vanity, domestic financial strain, and changing social expectations around marriage and consumption during the early 20th century.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
At the office he is inundated with bills. The Ways of Chivalry. “ HAT, ho, haughty the tailor’s shop. draweth on apace; fa: mer suit straightway ! your lordship,"’ replied the hough, if I might venture to remind your lordship,’’ he added tim- idly, ‘‘the bill for your lordship’s last winter suit doth yet remain unp’”. “*Peace, thou botching rogue!’’ thun- dered the baron, drawing his sword. “A thin suit of the latest mode and per- fect fit instanter! Else, by my troth, will I slit thy knave’s weazand!"" “At once, my lord, at once!"’ prom- ised the trembling tailor. ‘‘To the bel- lows, Barnaby! Fetch rivets, Jock! Bustle, drones, bustle!’’ Then, seizing his tin shears, he began to snip his lightest-weight galvanized iron in fever- ish haste. varlet!"’ cried the baron, striding into “Warm weather ion me a sum- Frank M, Bicknell, The Happy Family. Mr. Scrappington—“‘After all, only a very small percentage of men squander their money on chorus girls.’” Mrs. Scrappington—'That is because the percentage of chorus girls is very small compared with the number of men.”” His daughter jolts him with a bill for a new outfit, His son wants to draw on him for just another hundred. All try to convince him that his clothes look all right for another season, Wanted To Hear. “*So your uncle from the country has been to see you, has he?” “Yes; and I've had a world of fun. Took him to a moving-picture show. He'd never been to one in his life. When he saw the lips of the actors move, but couldn’t hear any one speak, he yelled out, ‘Louder, please! Speak louder!’ ’” Made To Order. Wiseman—‘‘I admire a man like Jones, who-seems to sympathize with every unfortunate brother.’’ Satiricus—‘‘But Jones's sympathy is synthetic.’” ” Wiseman—‘‘ Why do you say that?’’ Satiricus—‘‘It has every essential in- gredient but emotion."” Information Desired. “They were divorced within six months after their wedding.’’ “H'm!’ returned the pessimistic bachelor. ‘‘What detained them? Not in Sight. Hokus—‘‘Do you think we shall ever have universal peace?” Pokus—‘‘Not so long as women cort tinue to play bridge for stakes.” ‘This is the figure he cuts after the others are togged out. He wakes up! Revised. Tet oft-asked query I'll repeat, “‘Why does a chicken cross the street?’’ I know what you are going to say; You'll answer in the same old way That minstrels did in days of yore. You're wrong. The chicken I’ve in mind Upon gay Broadway you will find. Across the crowded street she’ll glide, Because upon the other side She sees a millinery store. Will Berbers No Romance in These, Polly—‘Having announced that they were going to live in an apartment, I suppose the Newlyweds got a lot of use- ful presents.”’ Dolly—‘*Yes, indeed! Among them I saw a snow shovel, a lawn mower and a set of garden tools.”” Her Sarcasm. “It is half-past one o'clock !’’ severely said Mrs. Gnagaway. ‘What kept you from getting home until this untimely hour? ‘I was detained at the office, making out statements,”’ replied her husband. “‘And that is one of the statements, I presume?’’ comicbooks.com