Judge, 1913-01-25 · page 10 of 26
Judge — January 25, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century American concerns: **"What He Waits For"**: A vagrant claims he's waiting for widespread air navigation to become legal so he can paint advertisements on roofs—mocking both unemployed dreamers and the era's growing fascination with aviation as a business opportunity. **"His Chance"**: References President Wilson's political difficulties, with an old codger comparing his chances of uniting fractious factions to maintaining silence in a rowboat with four women and a live eel—absurdist humor about political impossibility. **"Thought He Had 'Em"**: A farmer attributes his ailments to reading the new Farmers' Almanac, playing on rural stereotypes and the period's obsession with medical symptom-checking. **Minor pieces** mock suffragettes, overeager doctors, and New Year's resolutions. The "Penetrating Qualities of Acid" section uses medical humor to demean a talkative woman patient—typical period misogyny. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical take on contemporary American life, politics, and social pretensions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE REPEATER. What He Waits For. Judge (to man arrested for vagrancy) —‘‘You have no visible means of sup- port, but I suppose, like many others of your sort, you have some excuse?”’ Prisoner—‘‘Sure!"" Judge—'Well, what is it?) Why don’t you go to work?” Prisoner—‘‘I'm waiting to pull off a big business enterprise.”’ Judge— Why are you waiting? What are you waiting for?’’ Prisoner—‘‘I'm waiting until naviga- tion of the air becomes general. Then I'm going to get the right to paint ad- vertising signs on roofs."* A HOLIDAY ECHO. Customer—"* Did you see a lady here changing @ man’s shirt?"” Chirrup ! ‘OLD? Why, sure it’s cold! And windy, too. Glad spring seems far From me and you. But clamp a grin Upon your face— This isn’t quite The coldest place. Just let a smile Twist up your mouth— Alaska folks Call this ‘‘down South’! His Chance, “‘What chance, in your opinion, squire, has Wilson of making a popular Presi- dent, with all the conflicting factions interests picking and pulling at him?"” “Fully as much, Lyman,” replied the Old Codger, ‘‘as dead silence has of reigning in a rowboat with four women and a live eel in it.’” Thought He Had "Em. Farmer Brown—‘‘Hello, John! you feelin’?”” Farmer Jones—‘‘Poorly. I felt all right yesterday, but I kinder think to- day somethin’s the matter with me. I feel some 0’ the symptoms of sciatica, lumbago, dyspepsia, ringworm, bron- chitis an’ a few other ser’us ail- ments.”” Farmer Brown—‘‘Du tell! What in th’ name o’ Tophet did ye do las’ night?” Farmer Jones—‘W'y, I read the new Farmers’ Almanac till near morn- in’? How The Luckless Hunter, The hunter had but little luck, For he was out to shoot a buck; He shot a farmer's cow instead, Worth fifty bucks, the farmer said. The Latest First suffragette became of Weary way?” Second suffragette hobo—She and Dustina Rhodes were riding the rods of a Santa Fe east bound, when Weary Millie let loose to put her hat on straight.”’ Invasion. hobo—‘* What Millie Walk-a- THE PENETRATING QUALITIES OF A DROP OF ACID. An Impossibility. Dr. Crabbe had almost succeeded in dismissing Mrs. Gassoway, when she stopped in the doorway, exclaiming, “Why, doctor, you didn’t look to see if my tongue was coated!’’ “I know it isn’t,’? said the doctor wearily. ‘You never find grass on a race track.’” The person making two good resolu- tions for the New Year and keeping one is fifty per cent. ahead of the game. comicbooks.com