Judge, 1913-01-11 · page 5 of 24
Judge — January 11, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: 1. **"Too Long by Half"** mocks Professor Metchnikoff's dietary theory claiming humans could live 200+ years on milk alone. The satire suggests this proposition is absurd. 2. **"Misunderstood"** depicts a child asking her mother about an elephant's beans, with the mother correcting the misidentification—a simple visual gag about childhood confusion. 3. **"Appreciation" and "The Higher Criticism"** are brief comedic dialogues about theater appreciation, poking fun at pretentious literary criticism and audiences who judge plays by arbitrary standards (here, praising a show's success before the curtain even rises). The page exemplifies Judge's mix of political/scientific satire with lighthearted domestic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Too Long by Half. ROFESSOR METCHNIKOFF (sneezy name to pronounce, but. we are never sure about the spell- ing), in his latest book, asserts that with sour milk and its by-prod- ucts as the chief articles of diet, one may defy time and the undertaker and easily live to two hundred years of age or thereabouts. A friend of ours, who has giv- en the Mitchnikoff bill of fare a month’s trial, says that, while two hundred years of life on earth may sound like an attrac- tive proposition, if he has got to stick to the sour-milk diet- - ary as a steady thing, he would be perfectly willing to die at the end of the first hundred He certainly is no swine: one WHY? century of eating from a trough is enough. wat s. Gidter There’s a heap of difference be- tween coming back and going back, as lots of people have found out. steers tort” MISUNDERSTOOD. ‘Mamma, I thought the elephant liked buns ?"” “* So he does, dear."” “* He turned up his nose at this one."" Appreciation. “So YOU were deeply touched by the poem young Mr. Guffson wrote to you?’’ said Maude. “Yes,’’ answered Mamie. “But it was not a good po- em.”" “I don’t care. It was just as much trouble for him to write it as if he had been Shakespeare.” The Higher Criticism. Hokus—That’s a great cho- rus they have in the new show at the Hoity Toighty Thea- Pokus—‘‘Yes; I knew the piece would be a success be- fore the curtain had gone up two feet.’” comicbooks.com