Judge, 1912-12-21 · page 9 of 24
Judge — December 21, 1912 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the contradiction between sincere Christmas sentiment and practical selflessness. A man named Reginald Slimpurse receives letters from his sweetheart, family, and friends—all earnestly begging him NOT to buy them gifts. Each group insists his love and regard are sufficient; they'd prefer he save money or donate it. The joke's dark punchline: this barrage of well-meaning refusals drives Reginald insane. The illustration shows him in an asylum bed, having suffered a mental breakdown from the psychological whiplash of being told repeatedly not to give presents during a gift-giving holiday. The satire critiques the era's tendency toward performative unselfishness and the awkward social pressure this created. The title "Christmas as It Isn't" mocks the gap between idealized Christmas virtue (not wanting material goods) and human nature (people actually do want gifts). The appendix confirms Reginald's case is "incurable"—suggesting the contradiction itself is fundamentally unresolvable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“RA BRINKE RWDBP TAC BEST. OLD FRIENDS ARE Christmas as It Isn't. Extracts from Letters Received by Reginald Slimpurse Early in December. FROM HIS SWEETHEART: <«(CHRISTMAS is approaching, and I know you are thinking what you can get for me. But I have a favor to ask of you, and I will be very, very angry indeed if you do not grant it. Please, darling, do not give me anything. I want you to save your hard-earned money, and all I wish for myself is what I know I have—your love and heart."’ FROM ALL THE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY: “We earnestly beg of you that you will not go to the ex- pense of giving any of us a Christmas present. We will appreciate your not doing so a great deal more than anything you can possibly buy for us, and if you love and respect us, a3 we know you do, you will give heed to this sincere de- sire of all of us, The best Christmas gift you can give us is to put what you would expend in the bank to your own credit against a rainy day.” FROM ALL OF HIS FRIENDS: “There is not one of us who does not admire and is not fond of you and “ Aren't you going to say your “No, mamma tl Christmas. There ain't nothin’ I want to-n ‘Then I'll have a long one.” who does not know your generous na- ture. But each and every one of us begs of you that you will not present us with any Christmas token, no mat- ter howsmall. Your regard and your friendship are all sufficient, and if you value ours you will respect this sincerely expressed wish. Be a friend to yourself and not a slave to a custom that often makes Christmas a burden instead of a joy.”’ APPENDIX : They meant well, of course; but if they had stopped to think, they would have fore- seen the inevitable result of a man, even of strong mind, re- ceiving such letters. The doc- tors at the asylum to which it was necessary to take poor Reginald after he read the foregoing communications say his case is incurable. ry Waldorf Francts. comicbooks.com