Judge, 1912-12-21 · page 19 of 24
Judge — December 21, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and light verse**, not political satire. The central content is "A Christmas Eve Carol" by Frederick Moxon—a humorous poem about singing Christmas songs while being physically jostled by crowded holiday crowds (getting stepped on, having a hatpin in one's ear, etc.). The joke plays on the contrast between noble Christmas sentiments and urban transit chaos. The page features vintage advertisements: Old Overholt Rye whiskey, Cortez cigars, the Navarre hotel, Behning player pianos, Schultz Ginger Ale, Durbar Gems (synthetic diamonds), and a "Sexology" book. A "Theatrical Instinct" anecdote mocks an actress's wardrobe mishap, and "A Sonnet to Christmas" sarcastically laments holiday spending draining the narrator's finances. The content reflects early 20th-century consumer culture and genteel humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Christmas Eve Car-ol. By FREDERICK MOXON. RICE OR QUALITY— gine a song of Merry Christmas! WHICH? The only possible Soon will dawn the happy morn! | argument in favor of any other player- piano is price. QUALITY should be first and price the last argument. Let us meet it, Gladly greet it, With a—(Ouch! Get off my corn!) ; . i ff] And if quality is the chief consideration Sing a song of human friendship, with you, only player-piano that Tuned to charity and love! will Bene satisfy your musical de- All-forgiving, mands is the wonderful Goodly living — (Say, you dope, mind where you shove!) BHebning Sing a song of hearts warm-beating, Filled with fellowship’s gay cheer! PLAYER Kindlier made, we— “same for 100 (Pardon, lady, IANO fi years’ But your hatpin'’s in my ear!) “With the tone you can't forget! Aged in "A | Sing a song of gifts and wishes, + RNC WN TRIED TAPER OVE ; A Reservations Made for Christmas Delivery e — ! wood, bottled in bond. Time of bounty, time af—(Seef If you are interested, write us and ‘are flavor, exquis- in't this riling? we will notify you, where in your town R fl », exq’ Ain't this riling? ite bouquet. The aristo- Quit it piling you can see and hear the Behning. t of whiskies. , Style No, 10—$750 Style No, 24—$800 oral A Otetalvn Oo: ‘our old bundles top of me!) auc oe seor Sapnlst sae Pittsbureb, Pa. Sing a song of —(Here’s the limit! Cash or convenient terms, Liberal allow- How's a fellow going to sing, anceonold pianos, Booklet on request. With a banging, 425 Fifth Avenue, N. Y. trance 38th St. BEBNING PIANO CO. Big, strap-hanging Warbler nezt him, caroling?) 5 0G BRAINS Theatrical Instinct. A Happy Marriage GARS “While she was dancing on the stage Depends largely on a, know!- the other night, Tessie Touslehed broke a garter and one of her stockings came does not come intelligently of it- self, nor correctly from ordi- "MADE AT KEY WESTJ—= mn." WHEN sToP down. nary everyday sources. : New Yor. Te SR? “Well, well! She must have been IN i ! ne arg sae enaor a : SEXOLOGY “ 7 ry rf Farnese Seventh Ave, & 38th Street and now she does it every night.”” BUSINESS MEN FAMILIES é es Maceo, of Lacoer/t A Sonnet to. Christmas. When I consider how my cash is spent At this expensive season of the year, I long to throw a fit or two, I fear, Knowledge « Mother Should Impart to Her Daughter. And to my wrought-up feelings give full All in One Volume. Illustrated, $2 postpaid . Write for “Other People’s Opinions,” and Table of Contents vent. PURITAN PUB. CO., 792 Pe a When with my coin dear wifie buys cigars And silk cravats of soul-disturbing hues Wonderfully brilliant. Pare whe. ‘ ix Constracted by the Oxy-Hydrorea And gives them me, 'tis then I have Furnace. Will cut glass, stand acid and Gre tests like real diamonds, the blues no foil or backing. Set oaly And fain would hurl myself ‘neath trol- , od Mounting. Dilianey ey Sent on Approval or by recistered le y Caras mail on receipt of price. Money i ry beerfully refunded if not satisfac~ Ob, Christmas, how thou leadest us ee ey er a bese astray! { MAIDEN LANE SALES CO. How slim thou mak’st our hard-earned ‘Maiden Lane, New Yor! bankrolls grow That we, proud fools! our friends and ACCESSIBLE-QUIET-ELEGANT kin may show uo Webia Five, Minctes’ Walk, of Theatres, Shops and Ourselves as generous and flush as they! SCHULTZ New Dutch Geil Rome Lassen the Cay. lectie Well, Christmas, thou dost drive me to i jotel to all Railroads, i is Cin pon Flt SR distraction { GINGER ALE $1.50 per Day $2.00 per Day But once a year, and that’s some satis- Particularly Prepared STOUT BATH cient BATH faction! “Carleton G. Garretven, for Particular People juites, $3.50 and upwarc _ SEND FOR COLORED MAP OF NEW YORK | wery of a good cocktail should insist that aaa me EDGAR T. SMITH, Managing Director ott 3 be used in making it; insures your 430-444 Fint Ave., KY. City Plaza Hotel, Chicago, aia aia ii, ting, the very best. C.W, Abbott & Co., Balti: | In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com