Judge, 1912-12-14 · page 15 of 26
Judge — December 14, 1912 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"Christmas Calendars"**: A poem mocking Cornelia, a lazy woman who sends cheap calendars as gifts to all relatives instead of thoughtful presents. The joke is karmic retribution—everyone sends her calendars in return. **"True Gratitude"**: A brief poem celebrating considerate neighbors who help remove snow, with an amusing twist: the speaker's greatest appreciation comes from his *wife* clearing their sidewalk section. **"Little Cordelia's Request"**: A humorous anecdote about a child asking her grandmother to measure ribbon by smell—misunderstanding the grandmother's old-fashioned measuring method (holding fabric to her nose and stretching it). The joke relies on the child's innocent literal interpretation. The central illustration shows a family reading newspapers indoors, likely depicting the "Sunday Paper" context. These are gentle, domestic humor pieces reflecting turn-of-the-century American life and social customs.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Christmas Calendars. ORNELIA’S heart is warm and wide, But slothful is her mind; Toward exercise at Christmastide It never seems inclined. So only calendars she sends To all her relatives and friends. She chooses for the grown-up minds Diurnal Dabs of Truth; And pictured kits, she always finds, Are suitable for youth. She once bestowed—oh, fancy that !— Four, just alike, in one small flat! At last, though, retribution fell And thumped Cornelia’s head. (The ‘‘Christmas spirit,’’ with a yell, Picked up its skirts and fled.) By chance—her many friends aver— They all sent calendars to her! Anna Mathrcven. ‘True Gratitude I love the man who early takes His neighbor-share insnow re- moval, And for my feet a pathway makes— He wins my brotherly approval. Ah, but the sight that fires in me The thrill of positive affection Is when, returning home, I see My wife has cleared our sidewalk section! —F. Mexen. Little Cordelia’s Request. Little Cordelia’s grandmother had an old-fashioned way of measuring 3 yard by holding one end of the goods to her nose and then stretching the piece at arm’s length. One day Cordelia found a bit of ribbon. Car- rying it to her grandmother, she gravely requested, Now for the pudding of the edible dee teedeys Pe Bile gerry de ue “Grandma, smell this and see how drupaceous fruit of the genus prune! nearer home."’ long it is."” comicbooks.com