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Judge, 1912-12-07 · page 34 of 44

Judge — December 7, 1912 — page 34: what you’re looking at

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Judge — December 7, 1912 — page 34: Judge, 1912-12-07

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor pieces** rather than political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements:** Eau de Cologne (4711 brand), the Navarre Hotel in New York, a "Wizard Repeating Liquid Pistol" toy, diamonds on credit, and Cortez cigars. **Humor pieces:** - "The Lost Chance" (poem): A man hesitates under mistletoe while a bolder rival kisses a woman—a common romantic trope playing on regret and missed opportunity - "Drawbacks He Could Mention": A farmer's comedic complaints about the American West (alkali water in Colorado, alfalfa/irrigation needs in Idaho)—gentle regional humor - "A Church Worker" and "A Differing View": Brief jokes about a boy working Sunday school for Christmas gifts and a marriage disagreement **Context:** This reflects early 20th-century American magazine humor—largely situational comedy about courtship, regional stereotypes, and domestic life, with no apparent political content. The ads target middle-class readers with consumer goods and travel.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of i iN \ Christmas, i» ‘9 This exquisite Eau de Col by ing to its refined charac peals particularly to wome morning bath, Gold Label—Sold Everywhere. 4 oz. bottles, 55¢: other sizes, plain and wicker, 85¢ to $3.00. Ferd. Milhens, No. 4711 Glocken- gasse, Cologne, o/R, Ger. U.S. Branch —Milhans & Kropf, New Yor! House Founded 1792. coe Se EI The Gift of sentimental associations which make it peculiarly appropriate as a gift. is most acceptable to the man who shaves himself and who loves his A spray of it perfumesand freshens up thesickroom. Its uses are manifold and no dressing table is complete withoutit. Insist on “Forty-seven-eleven” —Blue and all Gifts logne has ter, it ap- n, and it fatrde Cologne sTor AT wiEN New York THE NEW FIRE-PROOF NAVARRE Seventh Ave. & 38th Street BUSINESS MEN FAMILIES TOURISTS Maximum of Luxury at Minimum of Cost, ‘ACCESS! Within Five Mivates Walk of Thea 300 Feet West of Broadway Kew Duteh Grill Rooms Lareeet in the City Tiectrie Cars pase Hotel to all Ralironde 1.50 ‘Day, without Bath, $2.00 Da: ‘Seites, $3.69 and upwarse EDGAR. SMITH, Managt Plata Hotel, Chicago, snder same mana geme | Wizard Repeating LIQUID PISTOL Wit ot So ment vetons ey s Perfectiy safe'to carry without Fires and ie Loads fr "Feauired. ena ee, Net an dealers, or by mail, $i, Rubber-covered Holster, 1c \ With Pistol, SSc. Money-order or U. S. stamps. No coins, Parker Stearns 6 Cog 24 Shetfleld Ave., Dept. Biva,N.Y, “MADE AT KEY WEST im answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. The Lost Chance. A Hint To the Hesitant. By HORACE DODD GASTIT. HE STOOD beneath the mistletoe, When I came in the room. The vision set my heart aglow And drove away my gloom. But I—alas!—I paused to stare. Enraptured at the glance; And it was then, and it was there, I lost my only chance. For as I stood another came, A speedier than I. He hied him straightway to his game, E’en as the eagles fly; And, oh, the kisses and the smacks, So merry and so gay! He took ’em singly and in stacks, In osculate array! A hungrier wight I never saw In all this life of pain; He gobbled up a thousand score, And then began again, And when I left at break of day— Oh, bitter, bitter pill! I very much re t to s: The cuss was at it still! Drawbacks He Could Mention. An Illinois farmer was returning from atrip through the West. He had been in Idaho, where they raise alfalfa on irrigated land, and he had been down in Colorado, where alkali water is abun- dant, At the union station in Omaha, a man who had never seen the West asked the old farmer how he liked the looks of the country west of the Rocky Mountains. “Well,’’ retorted the ruralite, as he shifted a quid of fine-cut from the hol- low of one cheek to the other, “I like the looks of it tolerably well, but it has a right smart of drawbacks. In some parts of Colorado you can’t get nothing to drink but alcohol water, and up in Idyho they can’t raise a blamed thing but alpacky, and they have to irritate the ground in order to do that!"’ Howard C. Keele A Church Worker. “I hear you've become quite a Sun- day-school worker,’’ said Mrs. O'Beetle to the small boy. “Yes'm. I mean to work ‘em for a Christmas present.”” A Differing View. “T asked your husband last night, if he had to live his life over again, if he would marry you, and he said he cer- tainly would.’” “He certainly wouldn’t.”’ comicbooks.com Ti Or T Ah!